Unconditional love & acceptance of what is…unless what is, is me.
When I can’t be with myself or what is, I turn to repetition.
Why do I listen to the same song over and over and over and over again?
Is it because they are saying something I wish I could?
Is it because it makes me feel something I can’t muster up for myself?
Is it because I’m looking for permission to feel something I haven’t even let myself acknowledge?
Why do I watch the same shows over and over and over again?
Is it because I want to feel comforted and familiar without having to actually participate?
Is it because I feel braced for what I know occurs and I don’t have to feel it fresh and hard?
Is it because I won’t allow space for something I don’t already know?
Why do I prefer to read or write about things instead of doing the thing itself?
If I read about writing instead of actually writing, I can feel like I’m in that world without actually having to be in the work of it.
If I read about others thoughts on philosophy and life, I can breathe the sigh of relief that I’m not as alien as I thought and lessen the compulsion to have to articulate myself.
As cozy as it is, this repetitive overconsumption of repetition leads to repetitive undercreation.
The temporary relief sedates us.
It paralyzes our ability to actively engage/create/and experience life from our unique version of creative life force.
It becomes an autopilot choice to be a passive bystander rather than an active participant. Why am I the only exception to my deepest belief?
An unconditional love and acceptance of what is…unless what is, is me.
This episode is an invitation to renovate the well grooved neuropathways of our mind to a home that feels good instead of just familiar.
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0:01 Hello. Hello and welcome to another episode of help me see. 2025. has not let up. It's February 25th. And. Yeah. My year just gives getting crazier and crazier. How about you? Trying to catch your breath lately. I have had. Illness and ENT appointments and hearing loss appointments from a virus that traveled to my ear and decided to. Stay forever. And.
0:42 Um, I've had a brain MRIs. To further investigate said hearing loss and. Oh, my goodness. Just so much stuff. Just so much stuff. And, you know, I keep waiting to catch my breath. And be able to get back to creation mode. My favorite place to be. And. In that waiting to catch my breath and also just complete lack of. Physical and emotional energy. There is.
1:25 This default mode that I can slip into. And that is what I wrote about today. If you want to read the whole thing. I wrote this. Episode. I'm still trying to figure out like the flow of that. It's like sometimes I voice record first and then create a post-doctor and sometimes I just write. And then I'll talk about it and summarize it. So, if you're interested in this head to my sub stack and you could subscribe the visual podcast episodes are always free. And if you're a paid subscriber, you automatically get the monthly nostalgia now. templates, the photographic journaling templates that guide you in self inquiry, paired with looking at the last month's worth of photos you've taken of your life.
2:10 To help. Excavate. And live intentionally. So. You can find the link in the show notes there. So today, today I'm talking about. When I can't be with myself. Or what is I turned to repetition. And what. I mean by that is. I listened to. The same music. All of the time. I watched the same shoes over and over and over again.
2:50 I habitually default to reading instead of. Uh, writing or doing something more active. And when I was thinking about, well, many people do this, and of course I'm not, I'm not trying to shame myself. It is And relaxation.
