Help Me See - Living Through Seeing

abstraction helps us grasp the real thing. it’s been a minute. the last time I released an episode was in May- right in the midst of the loss and grief that swallowed me for a while. this is not a grand re-entrance, just a stumbling ramble back into this unending conversation of what it means to see in real time. In this episode I talk about the moment I finally opened my nostalgia now photographic journaling ritual again after the longest hiatus I ever took from it. Through it I rediscover how

The following is my experience over the last 3 months in losing my pregnancy. I’ve repeatedly been told how common it is to have this happen-and yet again, I find myself in a “common” place with such a minimal amount of context for it. Grasping for hands to hold in this hushed common ground has been critical, I hope my voice becomes a hand you’ll never need to hold. get the visual version here: https://biancaleamorra.substack.com/

when I was a little girl, before I had any understanding that most of us never do exactly what we say we want to do, my dad told me if he ever had the chance he would 100% go to the moon. I was absolutely horrified. But even in my panic, even in my steadfast objection- I remember his eyes. Where is the inner space where fear and trepidation get swallowed by enthusiasm/inspiration/life force itself? get the visual podcast delivered to your inbox for free via substack

What happens when we start respecting ALL parts of ourselves- like the exact constellation we are meant to be? What happens when we stop operating from a place of insufficiency or subconscious shame and start living our lives according to our own design? Join the conversation with human design guide & business mentor Sylvia Bbela substack for this episode coming soon: https://biancaleamorra.substack.com/ More from Sylvia Bbela : https://www.instagram.com/sylbbela.co/ All things Sylvia here

But no matter how intensely I feel something, I’m always left with this sensation that there is a trapdoor the feeling didn’t make it through. a forbidden place that is trying to protect the deepest parts of me… I could cry at a leaf on the fucking ground if I think about it enough. But I cannot escape this feeling that I am not feeling enough . A sensation of some sort of weird disconnect- A severed pathway that abruptly stops feelings before they get to some sort of elusive satisfying place th

When I can’t be with myself or what is, I turn to repetition. Why do I listen to the same song over and over and over and over again? Is it because they are saying something I wish I could? Is it because it makes me feel something I can’t muster up for myself? Is it because I’m looking for permission to feel something I haven’t even let myself acknowledge? Why do I watch the same shows over and over and over again? Is it because I want to feel comforted and familiar without having to actually pa