The Constellation of Who You’re Meant To Be w/Sylvia Bbela

0:02 Okay. All right. Well, hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of Help Me See. Today, groundbreaking news. Sylvia Bella is here, and I haven't had a guest on the podcast in fucking forever, and there's a reason why I'm breaking that with Sylvia. I'm also in a container with her, um, led by another facilitator, Steph Traska. And, um, Sylvia is a human design business mentor. And I just cannot wait to have this conversation.

0:44 Um, how are you? Wow. What? so much for having me, um, doing well. I think, I think we all have been in this hibernation mode. Um, today the recording is February 10th and we're kind of still coming out of all of that. And we're just kind of figuring out like, Where, where can we look in to ourselves a little bit more? Where can we, um, start to find the answers within ourselves a little more instead of all this craziness that has been out in the world. And, um, you and I are so lucky to have this community of women that are always there to support us, to, um, cheer us on with our talents, our gifts.

1:27 Uh, and not everybody has that. So. I think that's what it's all about for me with my human design business is allowing people to get that permission slip to live their lives really authentically the way that maybe you haven't even said out loud before or haven't admitted to yourself. And everything starting to unravel and have the space to breathe and think about who we are and what we actually really want.

2:12 They were like, Oh, you give, you give people permission to X, Y, Z. I don't know. At that point in time for me, That was such a trigger for me. And I felt so like, like, I don't, who am I to give someone permission to what, and now like living with it and through it and experiencing that from so many other people, that's exactly the word that I would use when I feel so like blessed and like, I can, exhale after being with someone. It's like they gave me permission. I didn't know I needed, didn't know what I was seeking, didn't, you know, it's just such a beautiful experience. And even coming out of that women's retreat, I almost didn't go because I was so anxious and I was having such crazy issues with my ear.

2:53 And then I just had this feeling that like, no, this is why you need to go even more. And coming out of that, it was really unique because during this, retreat, each person there facilitated a session and had their own unique contribution to it. And this was beautiful. And really, the common thread between all of us, I felt, was that everyone in their own way was really deeply, purely, and sincerely wanting to lead each woman back to themselves. in the most like foundational, liberating way. and really I w I would love to, before we even dive into our conversation, um, I hate to do the whole, tell us how you got here, but it's just so good.

3:35 Like if you could share a little bit about how, what you were doing before and what was the switch that made you come over to human design and why you feel so strongly about it, I would love, I would love that. Absolutely. Um, kind of on that same theme, I think that I had blasted through all the shoulds in life. I have this unstoppable energy, this battery that just never stops. And so I was doing all the things on the list, right? Like going to school, graduating. I graduated college early.

4:17 I need to create some kind of safety for myself. And so that's why even now I've shifted my language from motivation because motivation can be in lack and fear and need for safety, um, over to momentum. What now on paper I had, you know, done everything you needed to do, like been really successful. And, you know, the next step would be to try to find a partner and get married and like, check all those boxes.

4:58 But I, my internal world was like falling apart and having been in project management, people management, logistics, sales, marketing, all these different types of roles that are, um, looking for that integration piece, that connecting piece. I was like, I know, I know that I can do this myself. I was just being squished into this tiny box and every day of my existence, I could not be fully 100 percent myself. And the position was great. are, right? And so I knew that I had to get out and I started my own business, business consulting, doing virtual assistants, as well as, um, online business management, helping create structures and systems in the backend.

5:51 And I have in my human design, such a way of collecting all of that knowledge and distilling it into something really digestible and actionable. And so I started realizing. I was forcing myself to create all this structure for myself in the way that I was creating it for other people. And that was actually boxing me in too. I started resenting the business that I had built for myself. And things were not flowing, things were not working.

6:32 I was really looking to be that person that was like floating down a creek and just forgetting about all the to do lists and all the structures and all the things I was supposed to do. And I started to realize, Oh, I've known about human design this whole time. And I was running up against all these blocks with my clients where I felt like they wanted to do something and wanted a deliverable, like a website or a system or software that made them feel like I'm running a real business. I'm a real business owner. And I personally came up against this block where I was like, I feel like that's not. What's best for you. That's not going to work with who you are.

7:13 That's not going to work with your energy and how much you want to expend or your lifestyle. And so coming back to that process of building trust with the client, getting to know the client and then giving them what they really need in their business. I bridge that gap with human design and fully committed to that and got a certification, went through a program to learn all about it, start doing readings and then start mentoring business owners and still doing some business consulting, but still incorporating human design. Where the structure and this tool to learn deeply about yourself is your energy type, the way that you make decisions, the way that you interact with the world.

8:05 And so applying that lens was just like putting on the glasses and I realized, Oh, I can get to know a client just like that. And now I can see it. This is how much energy you have in a day. We need to automate more of these processes on the backend. So all that you have to do is show up or you have a larger battery like I do. So you like to do manual labor. You like to, to build things for people and with people you like to collaborate. So let's structure your business that way. And creating these small shifts for people has been incredible because it is that deep sigh of relief of like, oh, I didn't know I could do it like this.

8:47 Or, oh my gosh, you said something that I've had on my mind for years and I haven't even said it out loud. And so combining business consulting and structuring things with human design and incorporating more of my own human design, I started liberating myself and holding more, more potent space for my clients. And the things that weren't working just started dropping away. I mean, it was, it was incredible to watch and I knew exactly what was happening.

9:42 Or I don't even know myself anymore because I don't, I don't like the same things. I don't do the same things. Like who am I? And getting to. Use your human design as a blueprint for where you get to go, who you get to be, and then, um, enjoying the journey of that rediscovery of self. Like the way I am, there's nothing inherently deeply wrong with me. Yeah, what we're saying before we hit record, this old world meets new world of like, wait, Wait a minute, like, there's so much momentum, like, in the way that it's been done for so long up until this point, and we're like, this is how this should be done, and if you struggle here, you know, it's because X, Y, Z, you said, like, my whole life, I've been thinking this about the way I am and like how human design is so healing that it helps that stuff fall away because it's it's not as inflated with like all this baggage it's like you've told yourself a story about yourself your whole life until now and then you read this insanely fucking crazy blueprint you get from putting in this information about yourself.

16:16 And starting to unravel those little bits and being like, Oh, I'm motivated by fear, but that is what protects me.