Embodiment vs. Spiritual Bypassing: Coming Home to Your Body [VIDEO]

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Hi.

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I'm pulling something out of the vault today because this is one of those conversations you need to hear.

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A little while back, I was on The Hoyt Hustle podcast and YouTube show, and I sat down with Jeneth Blackert and Lianka Reyna, the two women who are behind this morning show for mystics.

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And we had an incredible conversation that went straight past the surface right to the depth.

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We got into embodiment and specifically why embodiment is so important so that we avoid spiritually bypassing, and what it actually means to come home to your body instead of just floating above it or somewhere out on the outskirts of your body or in the field, in the energetic field.

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What does that actually mean? And the part I love most that really came alive was coaching Jeneth live on the show.

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And so I hope that you enjoy this conversation, and you can follow along.

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You can feel into your own body and notice where you might be holding tension or feeling a painful sensation coming up, and start to explore what is lying underneath that sensation for you.

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So let's jump in Welcome.

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I'm Harmony Slater, your host of the Finding Harmony podcast.

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Over the past 20 years, I've taught thousands of yoga teachers and students to explore the intersection between ancient wisdom and modern everyday life, using mind-body practices to heal, awaken, and manifest their dreams from the inside out.

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This podcast is a sanctuary for those feeling overwhelmed by life's challenges.

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Are you ready to jump in and discover how these challenges aren't actually in the way, but are the way to finding harmony? Let's invite the magic back in Hello everyone, and welcome.

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I'm Jennith Blackert.

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And I'm Leanka Reina.

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And this is the How to Hustle Mystic Morning Show.

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Today we are talking about spinal energetics I've watched some of the videos that you've done, Harmony, and it's very, very interesting work, and I'm excited to hop into this conversation Yeah, I mean, just a couple words about Harmony.

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Harmony is a spinal energetics practitioner.

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She helps individuals release limiting patterns and regulate their nervous systems, reconnect with their higher selves.

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This is very impactful work, and she has a very unique approach.

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Harmony, welcome to the show.

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Hi.

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Thank you.

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It's so nice to be here.

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Hello.

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As I was sharing earlier, it's very interesting work.

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As I felt like as I was watching the videos that you were doing, I was becoming a part of it, too.

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Yeah.

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And it was like my body was just, "Okay, let's open up just a little bit."

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So why don't we start with a little bit about how you got into this work? Take us back to why this.

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Sure.

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So I mean, I grew up very much, like, connected to my body.

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I was a very driven ballerina, ballet dancer, really like using my body as a tool, and then that turned into Ashtanga yoga, which is sort of like- Mm the ballet of yoga.

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Yeah.

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You know, very intense, like five, six days a week, two hours of, you know, asana practice is Can be quite contortionistic, but also building strength and flexibility.

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Again, you're sort of using your body a bit like in service to your, you know, higher self supposedly.

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Mm-hmm.

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But you're kind of in also in a way disconnecting a little bit from your body.

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I mean, you reconnect, and then you kinda disconnect 'cause of course as the postures become more and more intense, you sort of are learning to, be with uncomfortable positions or pain in a way where you're sort of observing or sitting with the sensation.

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But also, there's a little bit of like a dulling or a turning off of the sensation because your body is adaptive, right? And so if you keep asking it to do certain things, it's going to shift and change and, and do what you're asking it to do because it's- Mm a very faithful servant most of the time.

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Um- Yeah but yeah.

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So then I, I was always interested, obviously, in energy and spirituality.

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I mean, maybe not obviously, but that was also sort of a parallel through line.

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So with these very physical disciplines was also a deep interest in God and spirituality and energy and, you know, sort of like the unseen world and how that was being transposed onto the physical world.

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And as I started getting into my 40s, things kinda started to fall apart physically for me, which was very curious, and I was like, "What is going on?" Because it was like my body just would not do what it had done for the last, I mean, for my whole life, but especially with the yoga practice, you know, the last 25 years- Wow.

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Yep it really, like, was just saying no.

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Mm-hmm.

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And it's like, "I'm not getting up early.

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I'm not doing this.

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I can't..."

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Like, no.

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Yeah.

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So everything that, like, all of these tools that I had, physical tools, were just not working, and I had to really listen, and stop pushing, and stop forcing, and learn to find ease, and settle into something deeper than the physical performance or using the body like a tool.

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And at the same time, uh, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition that, you know, I was trying to manage, and I was, working with a functional medicine doctor, looking at all these- Mm physical kind of possibilities for creating healing.

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And finally, I sort of reached this point where I was like, "You know, I've spent all this money trying to heal this condition using physical, external means."

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Mm-hmm.

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But I think the answer's actually inside of me.

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I think it's a little deeper than just like, "Oh, your body is experiencing disorder or dis-ease right now," right? It's like, where is that coming from? What's the root cause of this? And so that led me into spinal energetics, like, more into breathwork.

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I'd always had a pranayama practice, but looking at how the breath really can unlock the body, and then learning spinal energetics, and it really was very complementary to the yoga philosophy I had been learning, which is, you know, you have your physical body.

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You have your etheric body or your pranic b- body, like your energetic, the closest sort of energetic field.

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Then you have your emotional body, your mental body, and then sort of your personal soul or your spiritual body.

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And so these different layers of the energetic field were talked about over 2,000 years ago in the Taittiriya Upanishad in yoga.

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Mm-hmm.

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philosophy coming from India.

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And here they are again showing up in how, you know, a lot of energetic practitioners are starting to see and understand humans and our human body in a very real way, where you can sense in the energetic field where you're holding something in the body.

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The body responds in the field.

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Like, when you're in the field, you don't have to touch the body to have the body respond- Oh, wow or release.

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Yeah, so I got into studying this work with a chiropractor, Dr.

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Sarah Jane.

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Mm-hmm.

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And I've since continued my studies going into genius frequency with Brian Thomas Lum and Chelsea Rae Lum, and also John Amaral doing somatic energy, and just really, like, deep diving into how the body holds trauma, holds emotions, holds memory.

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Alongside of this study, I also have been going very deeply into somatic coaching and, um, looking at how when you have a thought or an emotion or a resistance to something in your life, it actually shows up somatically in your body first.

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Hmm.

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And when you start to listen to your body and go into it, it has wisdom.

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It's gonna tell you exactly where the resistance is, where it came from, and you can help to resolve or release that holding pattern from the root.

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And when you do, when you bring it into your awareness, into your consciousness with love and acceptance, without trying to get rid of it, it starts to transform.

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It starts to blossom or unfold like a beautiful lotus flower, and The path then becomes easy.

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Where you were f- originally feeling resistance, you feel a sense of ease or an ability to move in that direction.

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So I've been combining this work not just with healing and health, but also with personal coaching through life or business, because that's really where it shows up, right? In our lives or in our business.

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We have things we don't wanna do, or we're struggling with, or it feels hard.

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Oh, yeah.

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Right? And so then- Yeah like, it just becomes a mirror to help us see ourselves more and to do this deeper work.

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Yeah, of releasing and unwinding Yes Yeah What do you tell people who are struggling to...

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Like, I have lots of friends that are coming to mind right now that may struggle to actually believe this.

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Like, what was it that really had you like, "Damn, this is how it works.

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This is for real."

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Yeah, there's no stories.

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"Yeah, this is the shit."

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Yeah.

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Like, "This is exactly it."

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Yeah.

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Like, you know, what was that? Like, do you have any, you know, I know that probably wasn't, like, set points for me.

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I know that there's crux points in my understanding, and lots of those bleed together, but, and then synchronicities, whatnot, all the things.

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But- was there any, like she said, any case studies, any points of your realization what really...

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Or the craziest thing? The craziest thing.

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I mean, I think just feeling, like, understanding that, like, in the field, I mean, I receive the work as well as give the work as well.

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Sure.

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But having, like, like, just, like, not being touched and your body's moving, and it's not- Yeah because you're telling your body to move.

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It's just happening automatically, like, instinctively or, like, just because there's energy there.

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And I think we're so in our minds as humans.

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Mm-hmm.

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We think that we control everything with our mind, but it's- Well, we've been taught that for years it's not really the case.

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Yeah.

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W- well, and we haven't even been taught that it comes from a real thought either.

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It really We're just like, we just think it into existence, and that doesn't even...

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That's not exactly how it works.

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Yeah.

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And I mean- Yeah all of this, you know, all of the yoga practices and, and spiritual practices from India to Buddhism's really about, like, connecting with that inner life force, that energy- Yes that's in the body, that primal energy, whether you call it kundalini or prana or chi or ki.

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You know, it's there, and it's alive and it's conscious.

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Yes.

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And so we think that the mind is the tool that we're using to create the world, but, you know, the mind is also the servant of this life force too, and so they're in conversation with each other.

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So some of, like, the deepest, I mean, most transformative things has been, especially with autoimmune, like, my own autoimmune disorder completely basically going into remission.

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I mean, it's sort of, like, holding as is without getting worse- Mm-hmm so that's great.

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Yeah.

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And a friend of mine who was, like, losing her hair, who I was doing these sessions with, having a lot of, like, allergies and just, like, sensitivities to different food and inflammation.

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Again, it was, like, all autoimmune caused.

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After doing this work and going into it, her, her hair started to come back, her skin started to look better.

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Yeah.

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Everything started to shift, and her health is, like, 100% better.

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She's been able to come off the medication.

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Like, at least dial it down quite significantly.

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Good.

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But I mean, it can be very interesting from, like, past life things coming up and coming through, or images of things from memories forgotten.

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One of the theories is that it releases...

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Like, a lot of people come out of it and they say it's like a plant medicine journey, where like- Yeah that reminds me of plant medicine.

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Wow.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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And so- Yeah one of the thoughts is that when you're in this, like, deeply...

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It's kind of like a deep meditative state that uses music and sound, gentle touch, but it, your awareness is really opening and expanding.

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And the spine is also, like, kind of moving.

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The body's moving.

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Uh-huh.

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But not because you're making it move, because it's just open to receiving.

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Perhaps DMT is being released through the spine, 'cause our body makes its own DMT.

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Yes.

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And so I mean, we don't have scientific studies to show that that's happening, but it's a theory.

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I can relate, yes.

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I mean, I know that in meditative practice before, that I, if, if I'm kind of deep and I'm really feeling like I'm really having that emotion or that, feeling, all of a sudden I feel like wherever I had pain, my body starts to go and starts to stretch me out.

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Like, and I'm like, "What are you doing?" I remember the first time it happened, and I just let it flow.

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And like, in, like, different places where I was having a lot of, like...

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It starts to stretch.

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It was stretching me.

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It was, like, flexing my calf, and like, turning my neck this way, and like, really force.

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And, and it was just all- automatic, like I was allowing that flow, and it was really, really strange.

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And this is after I do transcendental meditation, so it was kind of definitely putting me into a state.

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And then I was like, "What are you doing, body?" I can feel it now, like, "What are you doing, body?" And I really have to believe that it was already knowing what it really needed, because it's like, "You were tight here, and you were carrying a lot of your energies and your stress right here," like it's telling me.

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But I could see how if you don't know what that is or if you haven't really like accustomed to some of this work, how that might be a little jarring, or how you may not even allow something to happen energetically like that.

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But it's very interesting.

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Yeah.

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And it does take, like as you say, it takes a sense of trust.

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Yes.

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And like not just trust in the practitioner, but trust in yourself- Yes trust in your own body.

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And like- Yes most of us don't actually feel safe in our bodies.

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Yes.

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So sometimes it's just like coming home to feel safe in your body, to feel- Yes.

157
00:15:13,666.14182907 --> 00:15:14,34.14182907
Yes.

158
00:15:14,34.14182907 --> 00:15:14,411.14182907
Yes.

159
00:15:14,729.14182907 --> 00:15:15,108.14182907
Yeah.

160
00:15:15,109.14182907 --> 00:15:15,855.14182907
That's so true.

161
00:15:16,219.14182907 --> 00:15:19,593.14182907
Well, let's dive into some of your somatic coaching.

162
00:15:19,602.14182907 --> 00:15:19,612.14182907
Mm-hmm.

163
00:15:19,642.14182907 --> 00:15:24,949.14182907
Can you offer us an experience? I, you know, have recently started...

164
00:15:24,995.14182907 --> 00:15:49,855.14182907
I'm a hypnotherapist, so is Lianka, and so I had always been like, okay, there's something living inside of you, right, that feels like stuck or what, or unworthy or unsafe or whatever the word might be, and sort of have them go into, okay, what is this, right? Like, really going just energetically with no conclusion in your head.

165
00:15:50,119.14182907 --> 00:15:59,989.14182907
What is it? But I would like to experience how you go into the body and in an energetic way without your hands- Yeah and without a table.

166
00:16:00,190.14182907 --> 00:16:00,902.14182907
Sure.

167
00:16:00,902.14182907 --> 00:16:00,912.14182907
Sure.

168
00:16:00,983.14182907 --> 00:16:08,269.14182907
Do you have something that is alive for you that like you would want, either one of you, that you feel like you...

169
00:16:08,301.14182907 --> 00:16:14,20.14182907
Like that next level or something that you want or something you've been working for that feels like stuck or blocked? So much.

170
00:16:14,20.14182907 --> 00:16:14,600.14182907
Go ahead.

171
00:16:14,671.14182907 --> 00:16:15,899.14182907
So much.

172
00:16:15,909.14182907 --> 00:16:16,951.14182907
Take it away, sister.

173
00:16:17,55.14182907 --> 00:16:35,237.14182907
Uh, I have just kind of been, I was going to get a little procedure done on Friday, and, um, they got me saying, "When was the last time you did your blood work?" And I did blood work during a detox, and my numbers were quite...

174
00:16:35,332.14182907 --> 00:16:39,420.14182907
They were some off, real high numbers, like high mineral numbers.

175
00:16:39,888.14182907 --> 00:16:42,716.1418291
And I just said like, "This is a detox."

176
00:16:42,912.1418291 --> 00:16:48,571.1418291
And they said, "Well, until those numbers are normal, we're not doing this."

177
00:16:48,728.1418291 --> 00:16:51,322.1418291
And I went back and got blood work yesterday, and it was normal.

178
00:16:51,337.1418291 --> 00:16:52,686.1418291
So all that is cleared.

179
00:16:53,268.1418291 --> 00:16:53,278.1418291
Mm-hmm.

180
00:16:53,278.1418291 --> 00:17:09,725.1418291
But I, for some reason, went into And I don't know, like, what conclusion, and I don't even know if it's related, but then there's just, like, this cloud of sadness that then came over me over the weekend.

181
00:17:09,777.1418291 --> 00:17:16,400.1418291
And I have tried every single tool in the book, and I can't really unlock this.

182
00:17:16,436.1418291 --> 00:17:18,496.1418291
So that's what's currently going on.

183
00:17:18,944.1418291 --> 00:17:23,827.1418291
Then we both are, like, you know, really trying to make the studio better.

184
00:17:24,130.1418291 --> 00:17:25,60.1418291
You know, lights, cameras, action.

185
00:17:25,61.1418291 --> 00:17:36,222.1418291
All the different things to up- to upgrade level, right? So we've got that also, you know, that's going on in our lives, and things are growing, and we've got these big events coming.

186
00:17:36,231.1418291 --> 00:17:39,557.1418291
So there's things going on in, in that area of my life.

187
00:17:39,660.1418291 --> 00:17:41,777.1418291
So I don't know how much information you need.

188
00:17:41,791.1418291 --> 00:17:46,109.1418291
And then my kids come, and they want to do this trip, and I've got that in my life.

189
00:17:46,114.1418291 --> 00:17:56,501.1418291
So there's a lot of, a lot of stuff, and a lot of stuff that I don't necessarily feel like I'm really choosing for me maybe.

190
00:17:57,254.1418291 --> 00:17:58,583.1418291
Just a little bit of that.

191
00:17:58,849.1418291 --> 00:18:03,910.1418291
So that's the noise, but I try not to jump to any conclusion around it.

192
00:18:04,432.1418291 --> 00:18:05,317.1418291
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

193
00:18:05,325.1418291 --> 00:18:05,601.1418291
Yeah.

194
00:18:05,644.1418291 --> 00:18:05,999.1418291
Okay.

195
00:18:06,119.1418291 --> 00:18:06,762.1418291
Mm-hmm.

196
00:18:06,802.1418291 --> 00:18:15,232.1418291
So what feels like the best place to kind of focus on? Do you wanna focus on the sadness that came up, or do you wanna focus on- Yeah, I think that that's...

197
00:18:15,263.1418291 --> 00:18:23,146.1418291
I don't, yeah, 'cause it's- It felt like that was alive Yeah, that's, that's the most alive thing right now because there's just this little...

198
00:18:23,148.1418291 --> 00:18:24,760.1418291
It's a, it's a cloud.

199
00:18:24,833.1418291 --> 00:18:28,969.1418291
It- I mean, you said it was the worst depression you've had in the last- since you were 25 years old.

200
00:18:29,60.1418291 --> 00:18:29,861.1418291
I was like, "Oh."

201
00:18:29,861.1418291 --> 00:18:31,62.1418291
Yeah, except it's a cloud cloud.

202
00:18:31,121.1418291 --> 00:18:32,448.1418291
I mean, like a real cloud.

203
00:18:32,458.1418291 --> 00:18:40,188.1418291
It could be something unrelated like hormones is what Lianka said, and, you know, I tap into that and I'm not sure.

204
00:18:40,257.1418291 --> 00:18:40,517.1418291
Okay.

205
00:18:40,518.1418291 --> 00:18:41,318.1418291
So, okay.

206
00:18:41,359.1418291 --> 00:18:41,793.1418291
Okay.

207
00:18:42,242.1418291 --> 00:18:42,838.1418291
So- Oh, boy.

208
00:18:43,304.1418291 --> 00:18:43,635.1418291
Yeah.

209
00:18:43,635.1418291 --> 00:18:46,220.1418291
Can you just close your eyes for a moment? Okay.

210
00:18:46,494.1418291 --> 00:18:52,659.1418291
And just allow yourself to drop into your body and just, yeah, take a deep breath.

211
00:18:52,726.1418291 --> 00:18:53,177.1418291
Yeah.

212
00:18:53,274.1418291 --> 00:19:00,430.1418291
And everybody on the line, definitely you can bring up what's going on for you and, um, have this relate to you as well.

213
00:19:00,435.1418291 --> 00:19:01,610.1418291
So this is for us all.

214
00:19:02,117.1418291 --> 00:19:02,743.1418291
Totally.

215
00:19:02,789.1418291 --> 00:19:03,286.1418291
Totally.

216
00:19:03,296.1418291 --> 00:19:09,586.1418291
Just, like, get coached right along because what's- That's right happening for one of us, it's the same process.

217
00:19:09,963.1418291 --> 00:19:14,236.1418291
It's easy to, for us all to kinda learn and feel it for ourselves too.

218
00:19:14,240.1418291 --> 00:19:14,974.1418291
Mm-hmm.

219
00:19:15,64.1418291 --> 00:19:15,376.1418291
Yeah.

220
00:19:15,477.1418291 --> 00:19:22,801.1418291
And so just, like, let yourself kind of, yeah, let go of the mind, the thoughts, the story about how you might be feeling.

221
00:19:22,806.1418291 --> 00:19:25,99.1418291
Just breathe and feel into your body.

222
00:19:25,455.1418291 --> 00:19:26,8.1418291
Yeah.

223
00:19:26,484.1418291 --> 00:19:55,860.1418291
And then just as you're allowing yourself to maybe even just scan your body gently, bringing the, the awareness up to the crown of the head and just moving your awareness down through your face, down through your ears, the back of the head, the neck, the shoulders, down the arms to the fingertips, through the front of the body, the back of the torso, even down through the torso all coming into the pelvic floor, and then down through the legs to the tips of the toes.

224
00:19:56,64.1418291 --> 00:20:02,267.1418291
And then just scanning, you can move back up just noticing as many parts and pieces as you can together.

225
00:20:02,328.1418291 --> 00:20:06,499.1418291
Back up from the tips of the toes through the legs into the pelvic floor.

226
00:20:07,366.1418291 --> 00:20:27,108.1418291
And then moving up from the base of the spine, coming all the way up through the torso, the front, the back, the sides, into the armpits, the shoulders, and from the fingertips up the arms, everything coming up into the throat, the neck, the back of the head, the side, the face, the crown of the head.

227
00:20:27,284.1418291 --> 00:20:41,565.1418291
And then as you're thinking about this sadness or this energy, can you just say a little bit about where you were when you noticed this deep sadness coming up? I know that it started Friday afternoon.

228
00:20:42,430.1418291 --> 00:20:42,607.1418291
Mm-hmm.

229
00:20:42,860.1418291 --> 00:20:51,533.1418291
And I feel like I was in my house, and I was just like- Yeah Yeah.

230
00:20:51,597.1418291 --> 00:21:03,658.1418291
It was like kind of this now what? You know? And I, through this work I have gone and stopped pushing so much.

231
00:21:03,711.1418291 --> 00:21:07,703.1418291
Like I'm- Yeah I've quite gotten to a place where I'm like, "Don't push, be still.

232
00:21:07,721.1418291 --> 00:21:09,151.1418291
Don't push, be still."

233
00:21:09,894.1418291 --> 00:21:15,999.1418291
And it's almost like I got so still that I can't even find my push or my motivation.

234
00:21:17,381.1418291 --> 00:21:17,894.1418291
Yeah.

235
00:21:17,894.1418291 --> 00:21:20,317.1418291
Which seems like it could be a gift.

236
00:21:20,434.1418291 --> 00:21:21,226.1418291
I don't know.

237
00:21:22,841.1418291 --> 00:21:23,525.1418291
Yeah, okay.

238
00:21:23,525.1418291 --> 00:21:23,535.1418291
Yeah.

239
00:21:23,535.1418291 --> 00:21:35,135.1418291
So close your eyes again and just feel in your body- Okay when you felt that meh and that sense of like, I just don't even have the energy or the drive or the motivation to push.

240
00:21:35,853.1418291 --> 00:21:36,300.1418291
Yeah.

241
00:21:36,878.1418291 --> 00:21:37,548.1418291
Yeah.

242
00:21:37,684.1418291 --> 00:21:41,104.1418291
Notice where you feel that in your body.

243
00:21:41,164.1418291 --> 00:21:42,573.1418291
It's kind of in my heart.

244
00:21:42,969.1418291 --> 00:21:43,218.1418291
Yeah.

245
00:21:43,218.1418291 --> 00:21:44,364.1418291
Yeah, throat, heart.

246
00:21:44,569.1418291 --> 00:21:44,962.1418291
Yeah.

247
00:21:45,84.1418291 --> 00:21:45,402.1418291
Okay.

248
00:21:45,402.1418291 --> 00:21:52,952.1418291
And just presencing that sensation there, just start to notice if there's a shape to it or a color.

249
00:21:53,440.1418291 --> 00:21:53,664.1418291
Yeah.

250
00:21:53,668.1418291 --> 00:21:59,644.1418291
It's like a, a blob, a little like just kind of a gray blob.

251
00:21:59,883.1418291 --> 00:22:01,308.1418291
And a gray blob.

252
00:22:01,318.1418291 --> 00:22:13,603.1418291
Is there a texture or viscosity? I guess if it, there was a texture, it'd be kind of like one of those ceilings that used to have the bubbles on top from the '80s.

253
00:22:13,944.1418291 --> 00:22:14,304.1418291
Mm-hmm.

254
00:22:16,46.1418291 --> 00:22:16,431.1418291
Yeah.

255
00:22:16,431.1418291 --> 00:22:16,441.1418291
Yeah.

256
00:22:16,726.1418291 --> 00:22:17,480.1418291
Popcorn.

257
00:22:17,631.1418291 --> 00:22:18,671.1418291
Popcorn ceiling.

258
00:22:18,742.1418291 --> 00:22:19,201.1418291
Yeah.

259
00:22:19,340.1418291 --> 00:22:19,686.1418291
Yeah.

260
00:22:20,68.1418291 --> 00:22:29,333.1418291
It almost feels like an old, old energy, like, like literally from like that timeframe too.

261
00:22:29,948.1418291 --> 00:22:29,981.1418291
Mm-hmm.

262
00:22:30,602.1418291 --> 00:22:33,169.1418291
It's kinda this like, yeah, drab.

263
00:22:33,815.1418291 --> 00:22:37,557.1418291
There's like, there's no bright colors anymore.

264
00:22:37,599.1418291 --> 00:22:38,89.1418291
Yeah.

265
00:22:38,171.1418291 --> 00:22:38,894.1418291
Let's see.

266
00:22:39,812.1418291 --> 00:22:40,24.1418291
Yeah.

267
00:22:42,379.1418291 --> 00:22:44,406.1418291
You're really close to the mic there, Bianca.

268
00:22:44,627.1418291 --> 00:22:48,693.1418291
Like that? Like that? Bianca's breathing for you.

269
00:22:48,694.1418291 --> 00:22:52,232.1418291
Like that? Yeah.

270
00:22:52,303.1418291 --> 00:22:52,935.1418291
So yes.

271
00:22:53,446.1418291 --> 00:22:53,969.1418291
Okay.

272
00:22:54,311.1418291 --> 00:23:02,343.1418291
Go back into the energy and just presence that, yeah- Okay '80s ceiling, gray, drab blob.

273
00:23:02,435.1418291 --> 00:23:02,899.1418291
Yeah.

274
00:23:03,40.1418291 --> 00:23:03,494.1418291
Yeah.

275
00:23:03,507.1418291 --> 00:23:07,472.1418291
Feeling it in the heart and the throat, and just being with it.

276
00:23:07,473.1418291 --> 00:23:07,721.1418291
Yeah.

277
00:23:07,721.1418291 --> 00:23:10,236.1418291
And you already said that it feels really old.

278
00:23:10,307.1418291 --> 00:23:10,795.1418291
Yeah.

279
00:23:10,932.1418291 --> 00:23:22,476.1418291
And so if you can follow that frequency, that imprint back- Mm-hmm as far as you can, just notice if there's any images or any memories.

280
00:23:22,607.1418291 --> 00:23:29,936.1418291
I feel like I'm coming in around 14, 15, or 16 kind of area.

281
00:23:30,420.1418291 --> 00:23:30,663.1418291
Yeah.

282
00:23:33,127.1418291 --> 00:23:42,184.1418291
Where it's, it's like teenage, it almost feels like teenage depression a little bit Mm-hmm But still, that still came from something.

283
00:23:42,240.1418291 --> 00:23:43,442.1418291
It felt like...

284
00:23:44,392.1418291 --> 00:23:45,519.1418291
I don't know what it feels like.

285
00:23:45,892.1418291 --> 00:23:46,609.1418291
Yeah, just stay with it.

286
00:23:46,609.1418291 --> 00:23:47,285.1418291
It feels like I...

287
00:23:47,996.1418291 --> 00:23:48,586.1418291
Yeah.

288
00:23:48,655.1418291 --> 00:23:49,575.1418291
Stay with it.

289
00:23:50,158.1418291 --> 00:23:50,291.1418291
Mm-hmm.

290
00:23:50,361.1418291 --> 00:23:53,793.1418291
And just, like, tune into that teenager who's feeling that.

291
00:23:54,131.1418291 --> 00:23:57,597.1418291
And if you can be that version of you that was that teenager.

292
00:23:59,43.1418291 --> 00:23:59,480.1418291
Yeah.

293
00:23:59,943.1418291 --> 00:24:00,429.1418291
Yeah.

294
00:24:00,794.1418291 --> 00:24:02,153.1418291
Uh- Yeah yeah.

295
00:24:02,153.1418291 --> 00:24:05,892.1418291
What shows up in your body? It's sort of this, like, I don't wanna do anything.

296
00:24:05,899.1418291 --> 00:24:10,346.1418291
Why, you know, this is my, this is really my life.

297
00:24:10,373.1418291 --> 00:24:11,207.1418291
This sucks.

298
00:24:11,239.1418291 --> 00:24:12,77.1418291
I mean, the, it...

299
00:24:12,402.1418291 --> 00:24:17,380.1418291
I mean, if I have to pull out words- Yeah those are the words that come, especially from that era.

300
00:24:17,831.1418291 --> 00:24:18,242.1418291
Yeah.

301
00:24:18,242.1418291 --> 00:24:19,74.1418291
Yeah.

302
00:24:19,74.1418291 --> 00:24:19,84.1418291
Yeah.

303
00:24:19,89.1418291 --> 00:24:20,405.1418291
Like, you know.

304
00:24:20,904.1418291 --> 00:24:21,315.1418291
Yeah.

305
00:24:21,324.1418291 --> 00:24:23,862.1418291
Give it a voice and let it just speak freely.

306
00:24:23,965.1418291 --> 00:24:24,372.1418291
Yeah.

307
00:24:24,381.1418291 --> 00:24:24,605.1418291
This sucks.

308
00:24:24,607.1418291 --> 00:24:25,759.1418291
I don't wanna do this.

309
00:24:27,414.1418291 --> 00:24:28,786.1418291
I don't wanna be in this house.

310
00:24:28,786.1418291 --> 00:24:30,309.1418291
I don't wanna be out of this house.

311
00:24:30,778.1418291 --> 00:24:31,557.1418291
Mm.

312
00:24:31,557.1418291 --> 00:24:31,617.1418291
I don't wanna be with friends.

313
00:24:31,617.1418291 --> 00:24:33,666.1418291
I don't wanna be without friends.

314
00:24:34,26.1418291 --> 00:24:34,260.1418291
Mm-hmm.

315
00:24:35,365.1418291 --> 00:24:40,609.1418291
That kinda goes, nobody likes me, but it's like, ugh.

316
00:24:41,49.1418291 --> 00:24:50,127.1418291
I mean, it's just kind of this like, why do I exist even? You know? I don't want to exist, you know, but I don't wanna go to the effort to kill myself.

317
00:24:50,218.1418291 --> 00:24:50,604.1418291
Yeah.

318
00:24:50,604.1418291 --> 00:24:50,614.1418291
Yeah.

319
00:24:50,865.1418291 --> 00:24:51,570.1418291
It's dark.

320
00:24:53,120.1418291 --> 00:24:53,130.1418291
Yeah.

321
00:24:53,130.1418291 --> 00:24:53,810.1418291
Yeah.

322
00:24:53,813.1418291 --> 00:24:54,214.1418291
Yeah.

323
00:24:54,217.1418291 --> 00:24:54,791.1418291
Good.

324
00:24:54,803.1418291 --> 00:24:55,609.1418291
Stay with it.

325
00:24:55,623.1418291 --> 00:24:55,926.1418291
Thank you.

326
00:24:55,926.1418291 --> 00:24:56,258.1418291
Thank you.

327
00:24:56,288.1418291 --> 00:24:57,242.1418291
You're doing great.

328
00:24:57,620.1418291 --> 00:24:58,258.1418291
Yeah.

329
00:24:58,258.1418291 --> 00:24:58,268.1418291
Yeah.

330
00:24:58,312.1418291 --> 00:24:58,738.1418291
Got it.

331
00:24:58,990.1418291 --> 00:24:59,283.1418291
Yeah.

332
00:24:59,311.1418291 --> 00:25:06,587.1418291
And just be with that energy as pure sensation, as pure energy, just allowing it, even welcoming it.

333
00:25:06,644.1418291 --> 00:25:08,20.1418291
Just breathing.

334
00:25:08,228.1418291 --> 00:25:08,725.1418291
Yeah.

335
00:25:08,831.1418291 --> 00:25:09,104.1418291
Yeah.

336
00:25:09,428.1418291 --> 00:25:10,149.1418291
Yeah.

337
00:25:10,279.1418291 --> 00:25:11,526.1418291
Letting it be here.

338
00:25:11,960.1418291 --> 00:25:12,246.1418291
Yeah.

339
00:25:12,247.1418291 --> 00:25:13,637.1418291
It's, it's just...

340
00:25:13,757.1418291 --> 00:25:15,824.1418291
It, it is changing, though.

341
00:25:16,84.1418291 --> 00:25:16,849.1418291
Yeah.

342
00:25:17,261.1418291 --> 00:25:26,277.1418291
What's happening with it right now? Well, it just seems that this kind of more opaque bubble ceiling is becoming a little more sheer.

343
00:25:26,824.1418291 --> 00:25:27,160.1418291
Mm-hmm.

344
00:25:27,691.1418291 --> 00:25:28,184.1418291
Yeah.

345
00:25:28,184.1418291 --> 00:25:28,194.1418291
Yeah.

346
00:25:28,483.1418291 --> 00:25:31,1.1418291
Like, it's almost like I can see through it now.

347
00:25:31,432.1418291 --> 00:25:32,32.1418291
Beautiful.

348
00:25:32,440.1418291 --> 00:25:32,984.1418291
Beautiful.

349
00:25:32,995.1418291 --> 00:25:34,212.1418291
And just stay with it.

350
00:25:34,216.1418291 --> 00:25:37,791.1418291
Just be with it as pure sensation, just in the body.

351
00:25:37,928.1418291 --> 00:25:51,648.1418291
And then just see if you can kinda open up the aperture of your awareness just into a bigger, larger container, like the room you're in, feeling or sensing the walls around you- Mm-hmm the ceiling above you.

352
00:25:52,103.1418291 --> 00:25:57,154.1418291
Just feeling yourself held in this larger container, and just even inviting...

353
00:25:57,177.1418291 --> 00:26:10,193.1418291
You're a mother, so inviting that archetype or that loving mother energy as if you were sitting with one of your children- Mm-hmm who was having this sensation, and just feeling all of these feelings.

354
00:26:10,651.1418291 --> 00:26:15,59.1418291
This loving presence, compassionate, accepting, allowing.

355
00:26:15,236.1418291 --> 00:26:33,523.1418291
With this part of you that's maybe a 13, 14-year-old feeling like, "I don't wanna be here, but I don't wanna not be here", what does that part of you need to hear? What would you say as this loving presence? It's almost like what they actually would say is, "This will pass."

356
00:26:34,29.1418291 --> 00:26:34,661.1418291
Mm-hmm.

357
00:26:35,120.1418291 --> 00:26:35,906.1418291
Yeah.

358
00:26:36,867.1418291 --> 00:26:39,346.1418291
It's kind of like, "This too will pass."

359
00:26:39,917.1418291 --> 00:26:40,140.1418291
Yeah.

360
00:26:40,366.1418291 --> 00:26:42,751.1418291
I don't know that I want to hear that, though.

361
00:26:42,885.1418291 --> 00:26:43,77.1418291
Hmm.

362
00:26:43,658.1418291 --> 00:26:43,934.1418291
Yeah.

363
00:26:43,942.1418291 --> 00:26:44,168.1418291
That's interesting.

364
00:26:44,172.1418291 --> 00:26:44,821.1418291
Sorry.

365
00:26:44,925.1418291 --> 00:26:45,329.1418291
Yeah.

366
00:26:45,329.1418291 --> 00:26:45,392.1418291
Yeah.

367
00:26:45,402.1418291 --> 00:26:45,762.1418291
I get it.

368
00:26:45,762.1418291 --> 00:26:46,531.1418291
Let that part of you...

369
00:26:46,554.1418291 --> 00:26:46,921.1418291
Yeah.

370
00:26:46,927.1418291 --> 00:26:48,257.1418291
I want- That part inside.

371
00:26:48,257.1418291 --> 00:26:50,95.1418291
Just let that part that's like, "Ugh."

372
00:26:50,223.1418291 --> 00:26:51,14.1418291
Yeah.

373
00:26:51,14.1418291 --> 00:26:51,824.1418291
"This is so, so lame."

374
00:26:51,829.1418291 --> 00:26:54,373.1418291
It's like fu- "So cliche" it's almost like, "Fuck you very much."

375
00:26:54,639.1418291 --> 00:26:55,329.1418291
Yeah.

376
00:26:55,329.1418291 --> 00:26:55,339.1418291
Yeah.

377
00:26:55,429.1418291 --> 00:26:55,999.1418291
Yeah.

378
00:26:56,274.1418291 --> 00:27:06,64.1418291
Um- I, I, it almost feels misunderstood Yeah That, that I, I mean, actually wow.

379
00:27:06,261.1418291 --> 00:27:10,799.1418291
That, that's kinda cool because it's not like I'm misunderstood.

380
00:27:11,765.1418291 --> 00:27:14,509.1418291
It's like this energy is misunderstood.

381
00:27:14,934.1418291 --> 00:27:22,20.1418291
Like it's actually here to, to guide me to something Beautiful.

382
00:27:22,627.1418291 --> 00:27:23,361.1418291
Interesting.

383
00:27:23,407.1418291 --> 00:27:24,40.1418291
Okay.

384
00:27:24,551.1418291 --> 00:27:25,173.1418291
Okay.

385
00:27:25,173.1418291 --> 00:27:25,183.1418291
Wow.

386
00:27:25,527.1418291 --> 00:27:25,934.1418291
Yeah.

387
00:27:25,955.1418291 --> 00:27:26,62.1418291
Okay.

388
00:27:26,90.1418291 --> 00:27:28,152.1418291
So let's, like, be with that energy.

389
00:27:28,217.1418291 --> 00:27:28,757.1418291
Yeah.

390
00:27:28,781.1418291 --> 00:27:29,46.1418291
Okay.

391
00:27:29,765.1418291 --> 00:27:34,437.1418291
And even just asking it, like, what do you want me to know? I'm listening.

392
00:27:34,715.1418291 --> 00:27:35,462.1418291
I'm here with you.

393
00:27:35,473.1418291 --> 00:27:36,60.1418291
Yeah.

394
00:27:36,176.1418291 --> 00:27:38,978.1418291
Just see if there's any words or anything that comes up.

395
00:27:39,88.1418291 --> 00:27:43,783.1418291
It's like I, I wanna say be erratic.

396
00:27:44,846.1418291 --> 00:27:47,523.1418291
I don't really know what that means, but that's what I wanna say.

397
00:27:48,101.1418291 --> 00:27:48,432.1418291
Yeah.

398
00:27:48,452.1418291 --> 00:27:49,467.1418291
Be erratic.

399
00:27:49,958.1418291 --> 00:27:50,505.1418291
Uh-huh.

400
00:27:50,569.1418291 --> 00:27:52,178.1418291
I don't know what that means.

401
00:27:52,644.1418291 --> 00:27:53,78.1418291
Yeah.

402
00:27:53,708.1418291 --> 00:27:53,925.1418291
Yeah.

403
00:27:53,925.1418291 --> 00:27:54,148.1418291
That's okay.

404
00:27:54,150.1418291 --> 00:27:56,298.1418291
We don't have to know what it means, right? Okay.

405
00:27:56,364.1418291 --> 00:28:00,612.1418291
Yeah Yeah.

406
00:28:00,612.1418291 --> 00:28:01,113.1418291
Mm-hmm.

407
00:28:01,126.1418291 --> 00:28:07,419.1418291
So you're sitting there with this energy, with this presence, and it's saying- Ooh, I think I got something though.

408
00:28:07,505.1418291 --> 00:28:07,986.1418291
Uh-huh.

409
00:28:08,350.1418291 --> 00:28:10,455.1418291
There's a real wrongness with it.

410
00:28:11,149.1418291 --> 00:28:14,346.1418291
Like, this is, there's a, this is wrong.

411
00:28:14,559.1418291 --> 00:28:14,846.1418291
Uh-huh.

412
00:28:14,976.1418291 --> 00:28:21,267.4751624
You know? And- even like, yeah, it, it feels like I'm wrong.

413
00:28:21,288.4751624 --> 00:28:22,479.4751624
This is wrong.

414
00:28:23,300.4751624 --> 00:28:25,869.4751624
Clearly I'm doing everything wrong.

415
00:28:26,874.4751624 --> 00:28:29,265.4751624
Because I'm so wrong.

416
00:28:29,587.4751624 --> 00:28:30,222.4751624
Yeah.

417
00:28:30,222.4751624 --> 00:28:30,232.4751624
Yeah.

418
00:28:31,7.4751624 --> 00:28:31,535.4751624
Wow.

419
00:28:32,133.4751624 --> 00:28:32,662.4751624
Okay.

420
00:28:33,181.4751624 --> 00:28:34,139.4751624
There's something.

421
00:28:34,141.4751624 --> 00:28:34,154.4751624
Yeah.

422
00:28:34,885.4751624 --> 00:28:35,614.4751624
Beautiful.

423
00:28:36,89.4751624 --> 00:28:36,418.4751624
Okay.

424
00:28:36,418.4751624 --> 00:28:44,809.4751624
So stay with it and just bring that acceptance and say, "I hear that you feel like you're doing everything wrong."

425
00:28:44,897.4751624 --> 00:28:45,641.4751624
Mm-hmm.

426
00:28:45,802.4751624 --> 00:28:46,112.4751624
Yeah.

427
00:28:46,112.4751624 --> 00:28:47,364.4751624
And give yourself that.

428
00:28:47,455.4751624 --> 00:28:48,595.4751624
Like, just speak to it.

429
00:28:48,595.4751624 --> 00:28:50,633.4751624
I hear that you're doing everything wrong.

430
00:28:51,70.4751624 --> 00:28:53,848.4751624
You feel like you're doing everything wrong.

431
00:28:54,123.4751624 --> 00:28:54,661.4751624
I hear that you're doing everything wrong.

432
00:28:54,661.4751624 --> 00:28:55,990.4751624
You feel like you're doing everything wrong.

433
00:28:55,999.4751624 --> 00:28:58,507.4751624
You feel like you're doing everything wrong.

434
00:28:58,510.4751624 --> 00:28:58,815.4751624
Yeah.

435
00:28:58,815.4751624 --> 00:29:01,374.4751624
I really get that, that nothing feels right.

436
00:29:01,923.4751624 --> 00:29:12,679.4751624
I really get that nothing feels right It's like duality all over the place here Yeah Yeah And it's okay.

437
00:29:12,758.4751624 --> 00:29:14,328.4751624
You don't have to be any different.

438
00:29:14,328.4751624 --> 00:29:14,651.4751624
Mm.

439
00:29:14,653.4751624 --> 00:29:16,722.4751624
Things don't have- Yeah to feel right right now.

440
00:29:17,163.4751624 --> 00:29:17,759.4751624
Right.

441
00:29:18,247.4751624 --> 00:29:20,330.4751624
But it doesn't have to feel wrong either.

442
00:29:21,59.4751624 --> 00:29:21,210.4751624
Yeah.

443
00:29:21,718.4751624 --> 00:29:22,154.4751624
But it does right now.

444
00:29:22,154.4751624 --> 00:29:22,959.4751624
So I know where I'm going.

445
00:29:23,42.4751624 --> 00:29:23,882.4751624
But it does.

446
00:29:23,882.4751624 --> 00:29:23,902.4751624
It does.

447
00:29:23,930.4751624 --> 00:29:24,419.4751624
Okay.

448
00:29:24,733.4751624 --> 00:29:25,34.4751624
All right.

449
00:29:25,34.4751624 --> 00:29:25,669.4751624
Yeah Got it.

450
00:29:25,848.4751624 --> 00:29:34,463.4751624
So you can say- So just- Just say to that part of you that feels like everything's wrong, I'm wrong, nothing's right, nothing's going right, just say, "It's okay."

451
00:29:34,575.4751624 --> 00:29:34,666.4751624
Yeah.

452
00:29:34,681.4751624 --> 00:29:37,308.4751624
You really don't have to feel like it's going right.

453
00:29:37,374.4751624 --> 00:29:37,883.4751624
Okay.

454
00:29:37,934.4751624 --> 00:29:40,88.4751624
You really don't have to feel like it's going right.

455
00:29:40,446.4751624 --> 00:29:40,879.4751624
Yeah.

456
00:29:41,94.4751624 --> 00:29:42,317.4751624
And just breathe into that.

457
00:29:42,667.4751624 --> 00:29:44,305.4751624
And you don't have to be any different.

458
00:29:44,368.4751624 --> 00:29:45,291.4751624
Be any different.

459
00:29:45,453.4751624 --> 00:29:45,865.4751624
Yeah.

460
00:29:45,963.4751624 --> 00:30:04,648.4751624
Then just tuning into that now transparent or blob, that energy that what you're holding in the heart, the throat, just seeing from that perspective of that energy that's being held there, that 14-year-old, that imprint, that feeling.

461
00:30:04,712.4751624 --> 00:30:09,645.4751624
Can that part of you allow in this love? Yeah.

462
00:30:09,664.4751624 --> 00:30:23,262.4751624
It, it's, it's interesting because there's this like facade of smallness That, you know, it's almost like go hide, go hide under a rock.

463
00:30:23,289.4751624 --> 00:30:27,946.4751624
Be small, be small, be small, be small, be small.

464
00:30:28,267.4751624 --> 00:30:28,437.4751624
Mm-hmm.

465
00:30:29,347.4751624 --> 00:30:36,43.4751624
In a world where I want and desire this grand, big, big, big, big, big.

466
00:30:36,84.4751624 --> 00:30:39,393.4751624
The polarity on this is astonishing.

467
00:30:39,533.4751624 --> 00:30:40,113.4751624
Yeah.

468
00:30:40,251.4751624 --> 00:30:40,859.4751624
Okay.

469
00:30:40,864.4751624 --> 00:30:40,882.4751624
Yeah.

470
00:30:40,882.4751624 --> 00:30:41,426.4751624
I'm liking...

471
00:30:41,617.4751624 --> 00:30:44,805.4751624
I, I, I think I'm unearthing something here.

472
00:30:45,89.4751624 --> 00:30:45,495.4751624
Yeah.

473
00:30:45,587.4751624 --> 00:30:47,734.4751624
Cause a feeling is just a feeling.

474
00:30:49,62.4751624 --> 00:30:51,61.4751624
It doesn't have to be right or wrong.

475
00:30:51,302.4751624 --> 00:30:51,665.4751624
Yeah.

476
00:30:52,136.4751624 --> 00:30:56,926.4751624
And just allow that part of you that's, like, wants to shrink and be small, just even...

477
00:30:57,320.4751624 --> 00:30:58,850.4751624
You can, like, feel it in your body.

478
00:30:58,850.4751624 --> 00:31:01,34.4751624
You could even, like, act it out- Yeah a little bit.

479
00:31:01,34.4751624 --> 00:31:06,68.4751624
Like, just let yourself- Yeah kind of like get really small it's almost like it's literally like, you know, fetal position.

480
00:31:06,74.4751624 --> 00:31:06,97.4751624
Yeah.

481
00:31:06,100.4751624 --> 00:31:06,975.4751624
Curl up.

482
00:31:07,638.4751624 --> 00:31:08,238.4751624
Yeah.

483
00:31:08,719.4751624 --> 00:31:09,226.4751624
Yeah.

484
00:31:09,277.4751624 --> 00:31:15,314.4751624
So kinda like just feel it in your body, like just that protection of that heart- The heart that throat.

485
00:31:15,314.4751624 --> 00:31:16,33.4751624
Right.

486
00:31:16,88.4751624 --> 00:31:16,675.4751624
Yeah.

487
00:31:16,744.4751624 --> 00:31:17,834.4751624
Just let it be here.

488
00:31:17,905.4751624 --> 00:31:18,56.4751624
Oh.

489
00:31:18,61.4751624 --> 00:31:19,378.4751624
It's allowed to be here.

490
00:31:19,445.4751624 --> 00:31:19,810.4751624
Yeah.

491
00:31:19,957.4751624 --> 00:31:23,246.4751624
And just breathe into it and just, yeah, just allow it.

492
00:31:23,555.4751624 --> 00:31:25,309.4751624
Just saying you're welcome to be here.

493
00:31:25,474.4751624 --> 00:31:30,93.4751624
You can stay small for as long as you want, but I'm just gonna hold this larger space.

494
00:31:30,739.4751624 --> 00:31:33,398.4751624
But it's like I don't wanna be small.

495
00:31:34,38.4751624 --> 00:31:34,543.4751624
Yeah.

496
00:31:35,245.4751624 --> 00:31:38,208.4751624
Well, I wouldn't mind having my body a little smaller.

497
00:31:39,174.4751624 --> 00:31:39,618.4751624
Yeah.

498
00:31:39,694.4751624 --> 00:31:42,337.4751624
But this part of you is- Yeah it wants to be small.

499
00:31:42,337.4751624 --> 00:31:44,77.4751624
It's like scream- screaming.

500
00:31:44,731.4751624 --> 00:31:45,228.4751624
Yeah.

501
00:31:45,389.4751624 --> 00:31:46,762.4751624
Be small- Okay be small.

502
00:31:47,32.4751624 --> 00:31:47,843.4751624
So just let it.

503
00:31:47,885.4751624 --> 00:31:52,85.4751624
Let yourself, like, feel really, really small, just for a few minutes.

504
00:31:52,87.4751624 --> 00:31:54,1.4751624
You can even, like, round your spine.

505
00:31:54,8.4751624 --> 00:31:55,697.4751624
You can, like, hide your face.

506
00:31:55,741.4751624 --> 00:31:57,113.4751624
You can just really go into it.

507
00:31:57,232.4751624 --> 00:32:01,382.4751624
You want me to just run from the mic? Yeah.

508
00:32:02,195.4751624 --> 00:32:02,490.4751624
Yeah.

509
00:32:03,292.4751624 --> 00:32:03,942.4751624
I got your back.

510
00:32:04,173.4751624 --> 00:32:04,941.4751624
I know its face.

511
00:32:07,558.4751624 --> 00:32:07,995.4751624
floor.

512
00:32:09,121.4751624 --> 00:32:09,846.4751624
Yeah.

513
00:32:10,282.4751624 --> 00:32:10,657.4751624
Yeah.

514
00:32:10,797.4751624 --> 00:32:11,150.4751624
Okay.

515
00:32:11,157.4751624 --> 00:32:12,917.4751624
See what happens when you allow it.

516
00:32:13,138.4751624 --> 00:32:13,383.4751624
Mm.

517
00:32:13,383.4751624 --> 00:32:14,478.4751624
What's shifted? Mm-hmm.

518
00:32:14,586.4751624 --> 00:32:23,94.4751624
What's present for you now? I almost wanna go like to a two-year-old and have Like be on the floor and have like a crying temper tantrum.

519
00:32:23,469.4751624 --> 00:32:23,587.4751624
Mm-hmm.

520
00:32:23,642.4751624 --> 00:32:29,654.4751624
Is almost like the energy that came up when you- Yeah told me to like change my body.

521
00:32:29,977.4751624 --> 00:32:30,680.4751624
Okay.

522
00:32:31,109.4751624 --> 00:32:32,238.4751624
We're g- Yeah wow.

523
00:32:32,392.4751624 --> 00:32:32,969.4751624
Okay.

524
00:32:33,534.4751624 --> 00:32:34,816.4751624
This is shifting.

525
00:32:35,72.4751624 --> 00:32:35,606.4751624
Yeah.

526
00:32:35,716.4751624 --> 00:32:36,286.4751624
Beautiful.

527
00:32:36,305.4751624 --> 00:32:37,454.4751624
Beautiful tracking.

528
00:32:37,458.4751624 --> 00:32:37,469.4751624
Okay.

529
00:32:37,483.4751624 --> 00:32:38,89.4751624
You're doing so good.

530
00:32:38,89.4751624 --> 00:32:38,615.4751624
Yeah.

531
00:32:38,863.4751624 --> 00:32:39,911.4751624
You're doing so good.

532
00:32:40,54.4751624 --> 00:32:50,955.4751624
So if you're with that two-year-old, that tantrum energy- Yeah what does that two-year-old say? What does it wanna like scream out or like just like- It's kind of like, "Fuck you all."

533
00:32:52,278.4751624 --> 00:32:53,77.4751624
Yeah.

534
00:32:53,292.4751624 --> 00:32:54,136.4751624
Yeah.

535
00:32:55,78.4751624 --> 00:33:00,312.4751624
It's like It's, um, and it's kind of like this, "Stop fucking with me," too.

536
00:33:00,878.4751624 --> 00:33:01,137.4751624
Yeah.

537
00:33:01,137.4751624 --> 00:33:02,255.4751624
It's like Yeah.

538
00:33:03,223.4751624 --> 00:33:03,643.4751624
Yeah.

539
00:33:03,659.4751624 --> 00:33:04,644.4751624
Stop fucking with me.

540
00:33:04,646.4751624 --> 00:33:05,389.4751624
Fuck you all.

541
00:33:05,429.4751624 --> 00:33:06,683.4751624
Ah.

542
00:33:06,709.4751624 --> 00:33:07,330.4751624
Right.

543
00:33:07,616.4751624 --> 00:33:08,66.4751624
Right.

544
00:33:08,75.4751624 --> 00:33:08,588.4751624
Yeah.

545
00:33:09,36.4751624 --> 00:33:09,432.4751624
Yeah.

546
00:33:09,432.4751624 --> 00:33:09,442.4751624
Yeah.

547
00:33:09,508.4751624 --> 00:33:15,34.4751624
And just see if you can like let your body kinda like move or like shake or just like feel that energy.

548
00:33:15,50.4751624 --> 00:33:18,644.4751624
Like even if it's just shaking your hands or like Yeah.

549
00:33:18,644.4751624 --> 00:33:20,430.4751624
Just move it through your body.

550
00:33:20,502.4751624 --> 00:33:21,57.4751624
Yeah.

551
00:33:21,651.4751624 --> 00:33:22,342.4751624
Yeah.

552
00:33:22,452.4751624 --> 00:33:25,297.4751624
And you can even like, like yell or like make Ah.

553
00:33:25,461.4751624 --> 00:33:26,16.4751624
Yeah.

554
00:33:26,146.4751624 --> 00:33:26,529.4751624
Yeah.

555
00:33:26,831.4751624 --> 00:33:31,991.4751624
And just drop into that two-year-old that's still there, into that space in your body.

556
00:33:32,70.4751624 --> 00:33:32,211.4751624
Yeah.

557
00:33:32,835.4751624 --> 00:33:33,164.4751624
Yeah.

558
00:33:33,164.4751624 --> 00:33:33,834.4751624
Just witnessing it.

559
00:33:33,834.4751624 --> 00:33:34,978.4751624
It's like, yeah.

560
00:33:35,92.4751624 --> 00:33:35,436.4751624
Wow.

561
00:33:35,791.4751624 --> 00:33:37,86.4751624
It's allowed to be here.

562
00:33:37,807.4751624 --> 00:33:42,341.4751624
And then just sensing- sensing that mother presence, because you had two-year-olds.

563
00:33:42,353.4751624 --> 00:33:42,621.4751624
Yeah.

564
00:33:42,664.4751624 --> 00:33:46,9.4751624
You had children- Right who were feeling- Yeah this way.

565
00:33:46,398.4751624 --> 00:33:46,854.4751624
Yeah.

566
00:33:47,443.4751624 --> 00:33:49,461.4751624
And so bring that love- Mine was like, I'm gonna run.

567
00:33:49,509.4751624 --> 00:33:50,285.4751624
Catch me if you can."

568
00:33:51,53.4751624 --> 00:33:51,439.4751624
Yeah.

569
00:33:51,711.4751624 --> 00:33:52,222.4751624
Yeah.

570
00:33:52,485.4751624 --> 00:33:54,233.4751624
Bring that love- I'm out presence in.

571
00:33:54,234.4751624 --> 00:33:55,73.4751624
Exactly.

572
00:33:55,84.4751624 --> 00:33:56,510.4751624
And just say, "I know.

573
00:33:56,518.4751624 --> 00:33:57,646.4751624
It's so hard."

574
00:33:58,29.4751624 --> 00:33:58,442.4751624
Yeah.

575
00:33:58,442.4751624 --> 00:33:58,452.4751624
Yeah.

576
00:33:58,452.4751624 --> 00:34:01,606.4751624
"You really want us to go away, and I get that."

577
00:34:01,694.4751624 --> 00:34:01,718.4751624
Mm-hmm.

578
00:34:01,718.4751624 --> 00:34:04,776.4751624
Like give yourself what that two-year-old really needed.

579
00:34:04,776.4751624 --> 00:34:04,786.4751624
Mm-hmm.

580
00:34:04,786.4751624 --> 00:34:04,796.4751624
Yeah.

581
00:34:04,806.4751624 --> 00:34:09,873.4751624
What did that two-year-old really need in that moment? What would you say to that part of yourself? Be seen.

582
00:34:09,988.4751624 --> 00:34:11,426.4751624
It She needed to be seen.

583
00:34:11,617.4751624 --> 00:34:12,102.4751624
Yeah.

584
00:34:12,379.4751624 --> 00:34:13,125.4751624
She, yeah.

585
00:34:13,273.4751624 --> 00:34:13,647.4751624
Yeah.

586
00:34:13,647.4751624 --> 00:34:13,657.4751624
Yeah.

587
00:34:13,659.4751624 --> 00:34:14,981.4751624
So you can say, "I see you."

588
00:34:15,538.4751624 --> 00:34:16,165.4751624
I see you.

589
00:34:16,990.4751624 --> 00:34:17,931.4751624
I'm here with you."

590
00:34:18,784.4751624 --> 00:34:19,247.4751624
I see you.

591
00:34:19,247.4751624 --> 00:34:19,502.4751624
I see you.

592
00:34:19,630.4751624 --> 00:34:20,644.4751624
I'm here with you.

593
00:34:20,644.4751624 --> 00:34:21,386.4751624
I see you.

594
00:34:21,388.4751624 --> 00:34:22,440.4751624
I am here with you.

595
00:34:22,695.4751624 --> 00:34:25,832.4751624
And you can yell and- This is shifting scream as long as you want.

596
00:34:25,996.4751624 --> 00:34:27,589.4751624
Yeah, I'm not going anywhere.

597
00:34:27,633.4751624 --> 00:34:28,764.4751624
You can't get rid of me.

598
00:34:29,166.4751624 --> 00:34:29,716.4751624
Right.

599
00:34:31,315.4751624 --> 00:34:31,837.4751624
Wow.

600
00:34:31,907.4751624 --> 00:34:35,33.4751624
And my body feels like it's getting a lot more spacious now.

601
00:34:35,414.4751624 --> 00:34:36,431.4751624
Beautiful.

602
00:34:36,778.4751624 --> 00:34:37,492.4751624
Interesting.

603
00:34:37,568.4751624 --> 00:34:38,148.4751624
Okay.

604
00:34:38,619.4751624 --> 00:34:39,405.4751624
Yeah.

605
00:34:39,807.4751624 --> 00:34:40,112.4751624
Yeah.

606
00:34:40,114.4751624 --> 00:34:40,124.4751624
Yeah.

607
00:34:40,124.4751624 --> 00:34:41,450.4751624
Just stay with it.

608
00:34:41,745.4751624 --> 00:34:42,932.4751624
Keep presencing it.

609
00:34:43,275.4751624 --> 00:34:43,842.4751624
Right.

610
00:34:44,113.4751624 --> 00:34:44,491.4751624
Yeah.

611
00:34:44,499.4751624 --> 00:34:45,957.4751624
Keep breathing with it.

612
00:34:46,334.4751624 --> 00:34:48,164.4751624
And I want you to tune into the two-year-old.

613
00:34:48,569.4751624 --> 00:34:48,588.4751624
Mm-hmm.

614
00:34:48,588.4751624 --> 00:34:56,595.4751624
What's the two-year-old feeling or sensing or thinking or wants to say right now? It's sort of like I'm gonna be the rogue me.

615
00:34:56,918.4751624 --> 00:35:03,175.4751624
Like, I'm just gonna be You know, despite what you guys want of me.

616
00:35:03,454.4751624 --> 00:35:07,845.4751624
It's almost like I feel like somebody's trying to put me in a box.

617
00:35:08,175.4751624 --> 00:35:08,459.4751624
Yeah.

618
00:35:08,772.4751624 --> 00:35:13,410.4751624
You know, quite Or the crib or something right? Yeah.

619
00:35:13,411.4751624 --> 00:35:15,541.4751624
Like a Yeah, like a playpen.

620
00:35:16,63.4751624 --> 00:35:16,324.4751624
Yeah.

621
00:35:16,614.4751624 --> 00:35:18,202.4751624
And I'm like, "I don't wanna be in a playpen."

622
00:35:18,919.4751624 --> 00:35:21,6.4751624
That's exactly what- Yeah yeah, mine was like, "I wanna run.

623
00:35:21,6.4751624 --> 00:35:21,26.4751624
I'm running."

624
00:35:21,26.4751624 --> 00:35:21,329.4751624
I wanna run.

625
00:35:21,329.4751624 --> 00:35:21,501.4751624
Yeah.

626
00:35:21,687.4751624 --> 00:35:24,502.4751624
And then the mother of me is like, "Well, don't run in the streets."

627
00:35:24,778.4751624 --> 00:35:25,676.4751624
That's what I'm here for.

628
00:35:27,264.4751624 --> 00:35:27,594.4751624
Yeah.

629
00:35:27,937.4751624 --> 00:35:29,431.4751624
I get that you wanna run it out.

630
00:35:29,432.4751624 --> 00:35:30,948.4751624
You got all this- Right fun energy.

631
00:35:31,38.4751624 --> 00:35:31,477.4751624
Yeah.

632
00:35:31,838.4751624 --> 00:35:32,633.4751624
Yeah.

633
00:35:32,633.4751624 --> 00:35:32,643.4751624
Beautiful.

634
00:35:33,362.4751624 --> 00:35:34,133.4751624
Yeah.

635
00:35:34,133.4751624 --> 00:35:34,143.4751624
Yeah.

636
00:35:34,186.4751624 --> 00:35:45,333.4751624
I, I, I think what's now coming up in my real life is I kind of felt like my li- life is kinda being, like, taken away from me.

637
00:35:45,532.4751624 --> 00:35:47,423.4751624
Like, my living years.

638
00:35:48,12.4751624 --> 00:35:48,446.4751624
Mm-hmm.

639
00:35:48,556.8084957 --> 00:35:54,53.8084957
I think now that I have more awareness on it, I, I feel like I got scared, you know? Yeah.

640
00:35:54,78.8084957 --> 00:35:55,420.8084957
I got scared.

641
00:35:55,970.8084957 --> 00:36:00,196.8084957
And, uh- And that it has lifted.

642
00:36:00,196.8084957 --> 00:36:02,873.8084957
Yeah.

643
00:36:02,873.8084957 --> 00:36:02,903.8084957
It is lifting.

644
00:36:02,903.8084957 --> 00:36:02,913.8084957
Yeah.

645
00:36:03,57.8084957 --> 00:36:03,307.8084957
Uh-huh.

646
00:36:03,307.8084957 --> 00:36:05,342.8084957
Just be with that part of you that's scared.

647
00:36:05,785.8084957 --> 00:36:06,270.8084957
Yeah.

648
00:36:07,173.8084957 --> 00:36:07,569.8084957
Yeah.

649
00:36:07,647.8084957 --> 00:36:11,117.8084957
And just, yeah, see it and say, "I s- I see that you're scared."

650
00:36:11,208.8084957 --> 00:36:12,828.8084957
Yeah, I see that you're scared.

651
00:36:13,522.8084957 --> 00:36:15,905.8084957
And it's o- I see you and it's okay.

652
00:36:15,987.8084957 --> 00:36:16,549.8084957
Yeah.

653
00:36:16,715.8084957 --> 00:36:18,623.8084957
And you're not gonna get put in a box.

654
00:36:19,833.8084957 --> 00:36:20,134.8084957
Right.

655
00:36:20,139.8084957 --> 00:36:20,875.8084957
Well, maybe.

656
00:36:20,878.8084957 --> 00:36:22,630.8084957
I put myself in a box.

657
00:36:22,678.8084957 --> 00:36:24,113.8084957
You're not gonna get put in a box.

658
00:36:24,113.8084957 --> 00:36:25,493.8084957
I'm not gonna get put in a box.

659
00:36:25,907.8084957 --> 00:36:26,576.8084957
Yeah.

660
00:36:26,603.8084957 --> 00:36:27,467.8084957
You don't have to.

661
00:36:27,534.8084957 --> 00:36:30,605.8084957
If you wanna go in the box, you can, but you don't have to.

662
00:36:32,592.8084957 --> 00:36:33,431.8084957
Right.

663
00:36:33,768.8084957 --> 00:36:34,341.8084957
Yeah.

664
00:36:34,595.8084957 --> 00:36:34,954.8084957
Yeah.

665
00:36:35,828.8084957 --> 00:36:36,313.8084957
Yeah.

666
00:36:36,573.8084957 --> 00:36:47,976.8084957
And what is that part of you that's afraid or that's feeling that fear, what does it need to hear to feel reassured? It's almost like, what do I need to hear? Oh.

667
00:36:48,40.8084957 --> 00:36:53,301.8084957
It's It I think that I wanna say trust and you will always be guided.

668
00:36:54,540.8084957 --> 00:36:54,712.8084957
Yeah.

669
00:36:55,204.8084957 --> 00:36:55,725.8084957
Yeah.

670
00:36:55,809.8084957 --> 00:36:56,103.8084957
Yeah.

671
00:36:56,974.8084957 --> 00:36:59,810.8084957
Just tune into that part of you that was feeling afraid.

672
00:37:00,453.8084957 --> 00:37:00,697.8084957
Mm-hmm.

673
00:37:01,543.8084957 --> 00:37:06,934.8084957
And take a deep breath and just let it really receive that trust and you will always be guided.

674
00:37:07,312.8084957 --> 00:37:07,646.8084957
Yeah.

675
00:37:07,651.8084957 --> 00:37:10,127.8084957
Trust and you'll always be guided.

676
00:37:10,698.8084957 --> 00:37:11,25.8084957
Yeah.

677
00:37:11,710.8084957 --> 00:37:11,851.8084957
Yeah.

678
00:37:11,857.8084957 --> 00:37:12,123.8084957
Yeah.

679
00:37:12,947.8084957 --> 00:37:15,141.8084957
I feel a lot more grounded, for sure.

680
00:37:15,801.8084957 --> 00:37:16,441.8084957
Beautiful.

681
00:37:16,599.8084957 --> 00:37:19,653.8084957
Mine's like, "Oh, that cliche again."

682
00:37:20,2.8084957 --> 00:37:21,608.8084957
And that's where I started from.

683
00:37:21,909.8084957 --> 00:37:23,297.8084957
I started from the trust.

684
00:37:23,299.8084957 --> 00:37:32,381.8084957
I started from, like, the, "Oh, I It's telling me to have more trust."

685
00:37:32,818.8084957 --> 00:37:36,208.8084957
And then when we got here, but those are her words, true.

686
00:37:36,531.8084957 --> 00:37:36,940.8084957
Yeah.

687
00:37:37,269.8084957 --> 00:37:42,229.8084957
It's like trust with your, um, your w- your how you're being.

688
00:37:42,781.8084957 --> 00:37:43,93.8084957
Mm.

689
00:37:43,176.8084957 --> 00:38:06,763.8084957
Mine is more like, if you were trusting, would you do this? If you were trusting, would you think this? If you were trusting, what would that look like? What would that feel like? If you had trust, if you already had all the things that you wanted and desired for others, and for yourself, and for everything, and what is that? Could you step in there? What's your answer? Well, sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not.

690
00:38:06,963.8084957 --> 00:38:07,329.8084957
Mm.

691
00:38:07,455.8084957 --> 00:38:10,22.8084957
Sometimes I'm operating from that, sometimes I'm not.

692
00:38:10,167.8084957 --> 00:38:10,532.8084957
Yeah.

693
00:38:10,740.8084957 --> 00:38:19,94.8084957
And it's just asking me to operate from that place more often than not, or to come back and remember.

694
00:38:19,876.8084957 --> 00:38:20,342.8084957
Yeah.

695
00:38:21,605.8084957 --> 00:38:24,916.8084957
Like, do, be as if already.

696
00:38:25,41.8084957 --> 00:38:25,417.8084957
Yeah.

697
00:38:25,641.8084957 --> 00:38:26,24.8084957
Yeah.

698
00:38:26,247.8084957 --> 00:38:28,364.8084957
To be that- Not from the place of scarcity.

699
00:38:29,818.8084957 --> 00:38:30,270.8084957
Yeah.

700
00:38:30,376.8084957 --> 00:38:30,732.8084957
Yeah.

701
00:38:30,732.8084957 --> 00:38:30,742.8084957
Yeah.

702
00:38:31,5.8084957 --> 00:38:32,197.8084957
Yeah, beautiful.

703
00:38:32,423.8084957 --> 00:38:33,289.8084957
Beautiful.

704
00:38:33,700.8084957 --> 00:38:47,742.8084957
From you working with other people- Mm I wanna take I One of the things that came up while she was talking Well, is my father is on the other side, and he died just a couple, like a week before Easter.

705
00:38:48,200.8084957 --> 00:38:48,572.8084957
Hmm.

706
00:38:48,662.8084957 --> 00:38:59,715.8084957
And I, I feel like I'm just kind of like, now that I kind of reached out for that infinite connection, I feel like I kind of sensed him.

707
00:39:00,170.8084957 --> 00:39:00,392.8084957
Yeah.

708
00:39:00,484.8084957 --> 00:39:08,393.8084957
And then, you know, it's, I kind of like grieving my life that's already passed.

709
00:39:08,725.8084957 --> 00:39:09,100.8084957
Yeah.

710
00:39:09,459.8084957 --> 00:39:09,939.8084957
Yeah.

711
00:39:10,437.8084957 --> 00:39:11,416.8084957
Yeah, and how that connected.

712
00:39:11,416.8084957 --> 00:39:12,296.8084957
It's not just about him.

713
00:39:12,821.8084957 --> 00:39:13,445.8084957
Yeah.

714
00:39:13,445.8084957 --> 00:39:13,455.8084957
Yeah.

715
00:39:13,706.8084957 --> 00:39:14,273.8084957
Yeah.

716
00:39:14,887.8084957 --> 00:39:16,430.8084957
Yeah, because we're all connected.

717
00:39:16,437.8084957 --> 00:39:16,451.8084957
Yeah.

718
00:39:16,455.8084957 --> 00:39:17,303.8084957
And you're connected.

719
00:39:17,306.8084957 --> 00:39:17,322.8084957
Right.

720
00:39:17,322.8084957 --> 00:39:19,840.8084957
And parts of you are, are parts of him.

721
00:39:19,924.8084957 --> 00:39:20,471.8084957
Sure.

722
00:39:20,895.8084957 --> 00:39:21,278.8084957
Yeah.

723
00:39:21,449.8084957 --> 00:39:21,715.8084957
Yeah.

724
00:39:21,718.8084957 --> 00:39:21,983.8084957
Yeah.

725
00:39:21,983.8084957 --> 00:39:31,158.8084957
And that's a beautiful connection to make, too, to see how- I know, right yeah so sort of like I've been trying to not see this.

726
00:39:31,811.8084957 --> 00:39:31,988.8084957
Mm.

727
00:39:32,79.8084957 --> 00:39:37,808.8084957
And then it's probably, like, this great gift where he's actually here with me bringing it in.

728
00:39:38,647.8084957 --> 00:39:38,929.8084957
Yeah.

729
00:39:39,476.8084957 --> 00:39:39,688.8084957
Yeah.

730
00:39:39,698.8084957 --> 00:39:49,748.8084957
So that I recognize it, and then which case you showed up right in time- for me to open this beautiful connection again, too.

731
00:39:49,942.8084957 --> 00:39:50,110.8084957
Yeah.

732
00:39:50,110.8084957 --> 00:39:50,831.8084957
Of course.

733
00:39:50,856.8084957 --> 00:39:51,188.8084957
Yeah.

734
00:39:51,244.8084957 --> 00:39:52,128.8084957
Beautiful.

735
00:39:52,762.8084957 --> 00:39:54,296.8084957
Yeah, it's perfect timing.

736
00:39:54,719.8084957 --> 00:39:54,879.8084957
Yeah.

737
00:39:54,879.8084957 --> 00:40:08,980.8084957
And it's like, was lovely, you know, I really appreciate your tracking because, uh, the way our body and our minds often work and connect is we have the sensation and we go to a certain stage where we had the sensation before.

738
00:40:08,980.8084957 --> 00:40:08,990.8084957
Mm.

739
00:40:08,990.8084957 --> 00:40:11,108.8084957
We recognize, oh, this feels familiar.

740
00:40:11,108.8084957 --> 00:40:16,543.8084957
It's reminding me of this time in my life or this version of me, and it's not always a memory.

741
00:40:16,561.8084957 --> 00:40:21,472.8084957
Sometimes it's just, like, an image of something- Mm-hmm or words that don't make sense.

742
00:40:21,474.8084957 --> 00:40:22,855.8084957
It doesn't need to make sense.

743
00:40:22,956.8084957 --> 00:40:35,530.8084957
And then, and then you, like, tracked it even further, like, all the way back to like- To a two-year-old, yeah yeah, a time in your life when you really didn't have any autonomy or control for the most part.

744
00:40:35,530.8084957 --> 00:40:35,894.8084957
Right.

745
00:40:35,895.8084957 --> 00:40:37,31.8084957
Right? Yeah.

746
00:40:37,34.8084957 --> 00:40:39,162.8084957
And so, of course, you're gonna have these feelings.

747
00:40:39,164.8084957 --> 00:40:46,610.8084957
Of course, you're gonna want to, like, fight and scream and like, because that was the way to communicate at that time.

748
00:40:46,610.8084957 --> 00:40:46,733.8084957
Yeah.

749
00:40:46,733.8084957 --> 00:40:51,902.8084957
And so but being with that part of you that maybe didn't- Yeah, your body wanting that yeah.

750
00:40:51,902.8084957 --> 00:40:51,912.8084957
Yeah.

751
00:40:51,912.8084957 --> 00:41:00,575.8084957
Didn't get to express at that time, and letting it express and be seen and come out, like, kind of closes a loop a little bit.

752
00:41:00,627.8084957 --> 00:41:00,728.8084957
Mm-hmm.

753
00:41:00,728.8084957 --> 00:41:00,738.8084957
Mm-hmm.

754
00:41:00,742.8084957 --> 00:41:09,605.8084957
You know? So that, like, like you had an emotional experience as a, a young two-year-old that probably, you know, like, got...

755
00:41:09,605.8084957 --> 00:41:26,61.8084957
You got put in a playpen or in a crib or, you know, because, you know, our parents are doing the best we can, and us, as parents, are doing the best we can, but- Mm-hmm we don't always, you know, show up- Yeah in the way that our children need us to in the moment.

756
00:41:26,125.8084957 --> 00:41:41,111.8084957
And so- Right that sense- Yeah of not getting- Ladies seen, right? Is, is you were able to kinda complete that by really just seeing that part of yourself and letting that part of you have that expression.

757
00:41:41,235.8084957 --> 00:41:41,955.8084957
And then, yeah.

758
00:41:41,958.8084957 --> 00:41:42,210.8084957
Yeah.

759
00:41:42,242.8084957 --> 00:41:42,939.8084957
Beautiful.

760
00:41:42,948.8084957 --> 00:41:51,941.8084957
Like, seeing that connection to your father and to your lineage and to this family line and- And the love through it too, right? Yeah.

761
00:41:51,941.8084957 --> 00:42:13,923.8084957
And the loss and time passing Right it's, uh, it reveals so much when we slow down enough to really feel it in the body and, like, just follow the, like, that frequency or that ripple effect, like when a- Mm-hmm rock gets dropped in the pond and the ripples go out, right? It's the same kind of thing and, but we're kind of, like, doing it in reverse and bringing it back in.

762
00:42:13,966.8084957 --> 00:42:14,453.8084957
Yeah.

763
00:42:14,759.8084957 --> 00:42:20,831.8084957
KD says, "We can revisit when we, grief can revisit when we least expect it."

764
00:42:21,438.8084957 --> 00:42:21,638.8084957
Mm.

765
00:42:21,675.8084957 --> 00:42:26,304.8084957
That's, I thought that was very interesting- Yeah that, that somebody mentioned permission.

766
00:42:26,304.8084957 --> 00:42:26,314.8084957
Permission.

767
00:42:26,451.8084957 --> 00:42:28,363.8084957
I, I can relate with that.

768
00:42:28,967.8084957 --> 00:42:29,3.8084957
Yeah.

769
00:42:29,3.8084957 --> 00:42:38,603.8084957
Because many times I am the one that, I used to be the type of person that couldn't even receive a compliment, right? And just say, "Thank you."

770
00:42:38,902.8084957 --> 00:42:39,8.8084957
Yeah.

771
00:42:39,14.8084957 --> 00:42:41,319.8084957
You know, if somebody said, "Oh, you look nice today," I wouldn't say...

772
00:42:41,332.8084957 --> 00:42:51,952.8084957
I'd be like, "Oh, this, that," or, "I got this at a, at a thrift store," like, you know, just whatever to kind of, like, bring humility into something instead of just saying thank you and receiving.

773
00:42:52,585.8084957 --> 00:42:52,849.8084957
Yeah.

774
00:42:52,849.8084957 --> 00:43:06,679.516707
And I'm not sure that that, that the permission is specifically that, but it's almost like I d- wasn't giving myself permission to receive, to love on myself, to have the love and, and just be receptive again of that.

775
00:43:07,29.516707 --> 00:43:12,14.516707
Because I was, I feel like I'm always the one that's dishing it out or taking care of everybody else.

776
00:43:12,237.516707 --> 00:43:12,369.516707
Yeah.

777
00:43:12,369.516707 --> 00:43:22,489.1833737
That giving myself the permission to finally just allow myself to receive is still a little bit of a stretch for me, because I really am that empathic person.

778
00:43:22,692.1833737 --> 00:43:27,348.8353919
I barely even learned that word and was like, when I did, I was like- makes lots of sense."

779
00:43:28,84.8353919 --> 00:43:35,366.8353919
Because I am always playing mediator or mitigating the pain of others around me all of the time.

780
00:43:35,661.8353919 --> 00:43:39,16.8353919
It's like, "How can I make this person feel better? What can I do? How can I..."

781
00:43:39,17.8353919 --> 00:43:44,517.5020586
You know? And I did that with my mom and, we've had a really strained relationship when I was a kid.

782
00:43:44,520.5020586 --> 00:44:00,112.5020586
So having that permission now to just allow myself to receive has been kind of, even love has been really interesting- That's so powerful because I think a, a lot of women, in particular, I notice it with women- Sure.

783
00:44:00,122.5020586 --> 00:44:00,497.5020586
Yes.

784
00:44:00,498.5020586 --> 00:44:00,807.5020586
Yeah.

785
00:44:01,378.5020586 --> 00:44:16,230.5020586
You know, we've kind of been brought up or trained to not allow in, right? Like, like it wasn't safe to shine, to be the most, you know, cutest, beautiful- Yeah child in the classroom or in the world.

786
00:44:16,253.5020586 --> 00:44:37,602.5020586
And a lot of our parents or, you know, parenting that came to us was also about, like, be humble, don't be prideful, or don't show off- Yeah or- Yeah all of th- these messages that I think we internalize, and then we create a bit of a nourishment barrier for ourself, and this happens exactly like you described.

787
00:44:37,610.5020586 --> 00:44:39,5.5020586
Someone says, "Oh, you look nice."

788
00:44:39,16.5020586 --> 00:44:42,206.5020586
And you're like, "Oh, this old thing," or, you know, whatever.

789
00:44:42,563.5020586 --> 00:44:44,875.5020586
Or just like, "Oh, well, no."

790
00:44:44,890.5020586 --> 00:44:51,513.5020586
Like, sometimes we just straight out- Yeah reject it, right? Like, oh- Yeah you're just being nice or kind, you know? Yeah.

791
00:44:51,514.5020586 --> 00:44:59,538.5020586
And- Yeah noticing all the ways, I mean, that's, like, a, a obvious sort of straightforward way, but there's all kinds of ways.

792
00:44:59,741.5020586 --> 00:45:13,364.5020586
Like, when we do everything and we don't even ask for support or help, right? And we just kind of expect people to show up for us and help us or support us- Yes or to do things for us, like around the house- Yes in our relationships.

793
00:45:13,364.5020586 --> 00:45:13,374.5020586
Yes.

794
00:45:13,374.5020586 --> 00:45:13,384.5020586
Yeah.

795
00:45:13,711.5020586 --> 00:45:18,2.6000586
And then people don't do it, and we're like, "Oh, I have to do everything myself."

796
00:45:18,189.6000586 --> 00:45:18,837.6000586
Yes.

797
00:45:18,857.6000586 --> 00:45:21,737.6000586
We're not allowing ourself to receive the support.

798
00:45:21,914.6000586 --> 00:45:22,716.6000586
Mm-hmm.

799
00:45:22,852.6000586 --> 00:45:22,892.6000586
Yes.

800
00:45:22,892.6000586 --> 00:45:25,322.6000586
Almost like a martyr, you know? Yeah.

801
00:45:25,322.6000586 --> 00:45:25,332.6000586
Yeah.

802
00:45:25,391.6000586 --> 00:45:30,825.6000586
I played that role for a while before I learned this work, uh, especially as a new mom.

803
00:45:30,898.6000586 --> 00:45:34,128.6000586
It was like, and then I was like, "If he can't tell that I'm doing all the..."

804
00:45:34,132.6000586 --> 00:45:52,491.6000586
And it was like I wouldn't even make my hair up, not that I could, but not that I, not that I had the time, but, like, I mean, I, you know, was doing all the things, and I was like, I felt like I was even, like, laying it on thick so that my husband could see that I was doing all the things, while his l- life felt more normal than mine.

805
00:45:54,25.6000586 --> 00:45:56,298.6000586
And then I realize, no, this doesn't make me feel good.

806
00:45:56,304.6000586 --> 00:45:56,333.6000586
Yeah.

807
00:45:56,338.6000586 --> 00:45:57,715.6000586
And I learned from all of this work.

808
00:45:57,829.6000586 --> 00:45:57,892.6000586
Yeah.

809
00:45:57,900.6000586 --> 00:45:59,701.6000586
But that could be one example.

810
00:46:00,124.6000586 --> 00:46:00,920.6000586
Yeah, yeah.

811
00:46:00,920.6000586 --> 00:46:00,930.6000586
Yeah.

812
00:46:00,930.6000586 --> 00:46:04,556.6000586
There's, there's many ways, like, that we- Right just don't...

813
00:46:04,927.6000586 --> 00:46:09,178.6000586
And then we do it to ourselves too, right? Like, we don't choose ourselves- Yeah first.

814
00:46:09,178.6000586 --> 00:46:13,914.6000586
We choose everyone else first, and we put ourselves at the back of the list.

815
00:46:13,928.6000586 --> 00:46:28,948.2667252
And, you know, there's that saying, like, love others like you love yourself, and we think I'm doing all of this stuff for other people out of love, but it's actually coming from a place of like, I can only be loved if I do these things for other people.

816
00:46:28,948.2667252 --> 00:46:29,27.2667252
Mm.

817
00:46:29,27.2667252 --> 00:46:36,31.2667252
Rather than giving the love to ourself first, and then it's coming from overflow instead of depletion.

818
00:46:36,63.2667252 --> 00:46:43,913.2667252
And I think that that's a big thing that we kind of, I don't know, didn't really understand in the generation I was raised in growing up.

819
00:46:43,913.2667252 --> 00:46:44,386.2667252
Yeah, me too.

820
00:46:44,425.2667252 --> 00:46:45,54.2667252
Me too.

821
00:46:46,793.2667252 --> 00:46:47,77.2667252
For sure.

822
00:46:47,77.2667252 --> 00:46:59,533.2667252
But I think we're starting to, like, come into it now, that- Yes you know, truly you have to, like, nourish yourself first so that you can give from overflow and abundance- I love and not from depletion.

823
00:46:59,552.2667252 --> 00:47:00,69.2667252
Yeah.

824
00:47:00,69.2667252 --> 00:47:00,79.2667252
Yeah.

825
00:47:00,563.2667252 --> 00:47:02,126.2667252
Yeah, and really acceptance.

826
00:47:02,127.2667252 --> 00:47:09,483.2667252
Like, I love that Katie put in the chat, you know, like, permission to feel how you felt or how you're feeling- Mm in the moment.

827
00:47:09,546.2667252 --> 00:47:09,891.2667252
Yeah.

828
00:47:09,916.2667252 --> 00:47:12,782.2667252
And, like, really meet it with acceptance and love.

829
00:47:12,782.2667252 --> 00:47:20,817.2667252
And you know, like, like, a classic example for myself is, like, it's, you know, the middle of the day or 4:00 PM or something, and I'm like, "I'm so tired.

830
00:47:20,823.2667252 --> 00:47:28,0.2667252
Oh, I just feel exhausted," you know? And there's so much resistance to, like, feeling tired or feeling, like, exhausted.

831
00:47:28,1.2667252 --> 00:47:31,35.2667252
And you're like, "Why do I have to feel this way?" Like, you know? Yep.

832
00:47:31,35.2667252 --> 00:47:31,48.2667252
Mm-hmm.

833
00:47:31,107.2667252 --> 00:47:35,562.2667252
And if you just accept it, like, meet it with acceptance- Yeah like, "I'm tired.

834
00:47:35,691.2667252 --> 00:47:36,393.2667252
Okay."

835
00:47:36,625.2667252 --> 00:47:39,857.2667252
And, like, really let yourself- Let yourself, yeah feel tired.

836
00:47:39,967.2667252 --> 00:47:40,510.2667252
Yeah.

837
00:47:40,514.2667252 --> 00:47:41,43.2667252
For sure.

838
00:47:41,43.2667252 --> 00:47:42,549.2667252
And give yourself permission to feel tired.

839
00:47:42,553.2667252 --> 00:47:45,814.2667252
Feel tired, and just take a nap- Be like, yeah and yeah.

840
00:47:45,986.4485434 --> 00:47:48,947.4485434
Like, I'm just gonna lie down and close my eyes for 10 minutes.

841
00:47:49,27.4485434 --> 00:47:49,710.4485434
Okay.

842
00:47:49,710.4485434 --> 00:47:49,723.4485434
Yeah.

843
00:47:49,771.4485434 --> 00:47:52,609.4485434
And then you get up and you're like, "Oh, I feel so much better."

844
00:47:53,382.4485434 --> 00:47:53,772.4485434
Amazing.

845
00:47:54,850.4485434 --> 00:47:55,844.4485434
Yeah, yeah.

846
00:47:55,844.4485434 --> 00:48:07,23.4485434
And I wonder how many of us make it wrong and fight it, and fight it, and fight it, and fight it, and then we keep doing this, and your body is like, "Hello."

847
00:48:07,633.4485434 --> 00:48:10,173.4485434
Liz says, "Pauses and delays.

848
00:48:10,668.4485434 --> 00:48:13,469.4485434
Pauses and rest are not delays in progress."

849
00:48:13,540.4485434 --> 00:48:13,882.4485434
Yes.

850
00:48:14,52.4485434 --> 00:48:20,933.4485434
Gosh, let me, let me tell you how that- I know I grew up where we were always, my grandma was always on her feet.

851
00:48:20,943.4485434 --> 00:48:22,144.4485434
Like, always busy.

852
00:48:22,167.4485434 --> 00:48:25,201.4485434
Now, she did come home and take a little power nap or whatever, 'cause she's older.

853
00:48:25,454.4485434 --> 00:48:25,757.4485434
Right, right.

854
00:48:25,757.4485434 --> 00:48:31,214.4485434
But, like, I mean, we just, I just grew up where somebody was always doing.

855
00:48:31,226.4485434 --> 00:48:32,805.4485434
We're always doing.

856
00:48:32,820.4485434 --> 00:48:37,911.4485434
And so then I definitely had this wrongness about just wanting to rest.

857
00:48:38,385.4485434 --> 00:48:48,52.4485434
Um, and also whenever my hormones were changing, like, then it was, like, a full-on, like, exhaustion, so I didn't have a choice, and so that made me feel even worse.

858
00:48:48,68.4485434 --> 00:48:51,286.4485434
And when you feel even worse about it, it makes you feel even more depression, right? Yeah.

859
00:48:51,409.4485434 --> 00:48:59,88.4485434
And so it's like, and I don't even use that word, but, like, I was like, "Oh, why are my windows drawn? And why feel like those commercials?" Like, I felt...

860
00:48:59,109.4485434 --> 00:49:04,527.4485434
And then it kept- You needed zestfully clean That's what they used to be back in the day.

861
00:49:04,592.4485434 --> 00:49:10,126.4485434
Well, now they do those ones with the, you know, the medicine and stuff, and I'm like, "Oh, I look-" It gives you wings.

862
00:49:10,126.4485434 --> 00:49:11,256.4485434
Not that one either.

863
00:49:11,257.4485434 --> 00:49:18,961.4485434
I'm talking about those, like, they're antidepressant pills- Oh, oh yeah where it's got the commercial and the line, the dr- line- lines are all drawn, and you got the dark colors.

864
00:49:18,966.4485434 --> 00:49:20,211.4485434
She's like closing up on the mask.

865
00:49:20,226.4485434 --> 00:49:21,260.4485434
And I was like, "Why, why do I..."

866
00:49:21,316.4485434 --> 00:49:21,612.4485434
Yeah.

867
00:49:21,832.4485434 --> 00:49:26,188.4485434
"Why do I feel I look like that?" Like, and then you make yourself more wrong.

868
00:49:26,231.4485434 --> 00:49:26,793.4485434
Like Yeah, exactly.

869
00:49:27,148.4485434 --> 00:49:40,738.4485434
And until I found some of this work, until I found, you know, even our, you know, our communities and others, and I wasn't allowing myself to just have a pause and a reset, and not make it a wrongness.

870
00:49:40,776.4485434 --> 00:49:43,58.4485434
Like, thank you, Liz, for that comment.

871
00:49:43,388.4485434 --> 00:49:45,309.4485434
It says, "They are sacred and also important."

872
00:49:45,334.4485434 --> 00:49:47,866.4485434
I definitely wasn't seeing it sacred and important.

873
00:49:47,867.4485434 --> 00:49:49,703.4485434
I felt it was like, "You lazy ass."

874
00:49:49,715.4485434 --> 00:49:52,932.4485434
Like, And I was like, "Come on."

875
00:49:53,271.4485434 --> 00:49:54,526.4485434
Now I know.

876
00:49:54,526.4485434 --> 00:50:03,546.4485434
And if I really am real with it, then I know, like, okay, I can get up and this is that, you know, this is gonna make me feel better, and I'm gonna go outside and work in my yard, and I'm gonna get more things done.

877
00:50:03,908.4485434 --> 00:50:06,182.4485434
But I just wasn't having that balance.

878
00:50:06,204.4485434 --> 00:50:11,797.4485434
Instead, I was snowballing, and I think a lot of people forget those very fundamental things.

879
00:50:12,266.4485434 --> 00:50:12,710.4485434
Yeah.

880
00:50:12,837.4485434 --> 00:50:14,139.4485434
Exactly, yeah.

881
00:50:14,221.4485434 --> 00:50:20,905.4485434
And I love that Liz said, "When we don't choose ourselves, then we don't choose for ourselves."

882
00:50:20,959.4485434 --> 00:50:21,22.4485434
Oh.

883
00:50:21,22.4485434 --> 00:50:22,123.4485434
It's so powerful.

884
00:50:22,189.4485434 --> 00:50:23,179.4485434
Yes.

885
00:50:23,179.4485434 --> 00:50:23,795.4485434
And it's very true.

886
00:50:23,814.4485434 --> 00:50:26,705.4485434
The more you- And the choices get made for us, right? Yeah.

887
00:50:26,705.4485434 --> 00:50:33,712.4485434
Like, those choice, the body will take a rest And right, as a demand instead of like- Your body will force rest.

888
00:50:33,738.4485434 --> 00:50:34,493.4485434
Exactly.

889
00:50:34,819.4485434 --> 00:50:35,933.4485434
I've had that happen too.

890
00:50:35,933.4485434 --> 00:50:37,414.4485434
It's like, "You're going down, sister.

891
00:50:37,414.4485434 --> 00:50:38,402.4485434
You can slow that roll."

892
00:50:38,412.4485434 --> 00:50:40,408.4485434
I'm like, "I can't get sick."

893
00:50:40,428.4485434 --> 00:50:47,520.4485434
And that, that might be what, what actually happened, was I just kept pushing through, push, push, push, push, push.

894
00:50:47,922.4485434 --> 00:50:48,250.4485434
Yeah.

895
00:50:48,334.4485434 --> 00:50:55,607.4485434
Although I stopped feeling that I was pushing so much, but I- Yeah I can see how I have that in me.

896
00:50:55,611.4485434 --> 00:50:55,627.4485434
Yeah.

897
00:50:55,944.4485434 --> 00:50:59,535.4485434
And then there's a wrongness when I'm not fast, you know? Yeah.

898
00:50:59,535.4485434 --> 00:51:06,355.4485434
And, and moving and shaking, and I think that, you know, that- Really got in there.

899
00:51:06,751.4485434 --> 00:51:12,324.4485434
Yeah, we, we adapt It had to come out eventually, right? It's like- Yeah, we get used to a certain speed Yeah.

900
00:51:12,324.4485434 --> 00:51:19,545.4485434
Mm-hmm Our nervous system also gets regulated or kind of, like, at a set point of dysregulation- Yeah that feels normal.

901
00:51:19,710.4485434 --> 00:51:21,863.4485434
And so then it doesn't feel safe to rest.

902
00:51:21,905.4485434 --> 00:51:26,575.4485434
We feel like- Yeah "Oh, if I rest I'm gonna lose something," or, "It's not okay to rest," or...

903
00:51:26,575.4485434 --> 00:51:28,257.4485434
And it's not conscious- Mm-hmm of course.

904
00:51:28,276.4485434 --> 00:51:30,785.4485434
It's all unconscious or subconscious.

905
00:51:30,848.4485434 --> 00:51:46,993.4485434
And in order to get the nervous system to come down so that we can be- Yeah in a space of listening to the body, of hearing its wisdom, of being in relationship to ourselves as a physical being and a spiritual being- Mm-hmm at the same time, we have to slow down.

906
00:51:47,14.4485434 --> 00:51:48,7.4485434
We have to rest.

907
00:51:48,7.4485434 --> 00:51:49,177.4485434
We have to go in.

908
00:51:49,357.4485434 --> 00:51:56,388.4485434
And sometimes even, like, the spiritual practices or the self-care practices become just work, and then we're just doing them.

909
00:51:56,603.4485434 --> 00:51:56,639.4485434
Mm-hmm.

910
00:51:56,639.4485434 --> 00:51:56,649.4485434
Yeah.

911
00:51:56,649.4485434 --> 00:52:05,341.4485434
And they're not actually working to help us Yeah slow down and connect, right? We're just, like- Yeah fitting them into our schedule.

912
00:52:05,428.4485434 --> 00:52:05,894.4485434
Yeah.

913
00:52:05,925.4485434 --> 00:52:08,61.4485434
Because, like- We check the boxes yeah.

914
00:52:08,101.4485434 --> 00:52:11,236.4485434
And then we're, like, missing the real juice of them.

915
00:52:11,273.4485434 --> 00:52:11,770.4485434
Yeah.

916
00:52:11,827.4485434 --> 00:52:12,109.4485434
Yeah.

917
00:52:12,142.4485434 --> 00:52:12,438.4485434
Yeah.

918
00:52:12,506.4485434 --> 00:52:16,744.4485434
And that is kind of what this is, just missing the real juice.

919
00:52:16,837.4485434 --> 00:52:17,240.4485434
Yeah.

920
00:52:17,252.4485434 --> 00:52:17,534.4485434
The fabulous...

921
00:52:17,770.4485434 --> 00:52:23,992.4485434
Well- And recognizing that your body has a language, and it holds your memories and your emotions, and it's...

922
00:52:24,32.4485434 --> 00:52:30,232.4485434
You know, you can access all of that by- Mm-hmm dropping in and just really listening and feeling it.

923
00:52:30,575.4485434 --> 00:52:34,548.4485434
But you have- Yes to feel it, and that's scary for a lot of people, right? Yeah.

924
00:52:34,623.4485434 --> 00:52:47,419.4485434
To- Yeah, yeah like, go into the blob- I mean, like I said, I- and be with it do this, I, I, I do this for others, and I did it to an extent for myself, you know? And but it's harder to do it for yourself.

925
00:52:47,478.4485434 --> 00:52:48,930.4485434
I was just gonna say that.

926
00:52:48,979.4485434 --> 00:52:53,395.4485434
It became very apparent, because I know that, I know you probably w- You said you used all your tools.

927
00:52:53,785.4485434 --> 00:52:53,827.4485434
All of my tools.

928
00:52:53,827.4485434 --> 00:52:56,411.4485434
And I thought- I was like, "Who does it belong to? Go away."

929
00:52:56,441.4485434 --> 00:52:58,614.4485434
sometimes, and this is important to say.

930
00:52:58,634.4485434 --> 00:53:01,917.4485434
I- Yes sometimes we just need to have...

931
00:53:02,66.4485434 --> 00:53:03,715.4485434
And this is why coaches have coaches.

932
00:53:03,768.4485434 --> 00:53:04,123.4485434
Yes.

933
00:53:04,125.4485434 --> 00:53:04,136.4485434
Mm-hmm.

934
00:53:04,163.4485434 --> 00:53:07,83.4485434
You just need to have somebody else facilitate for you.

935
00:53:07,85.4485434 --> 00:53:07,169.4485434
Yeah.

936
00:53:07,169.4485434 --> 00:53:09,76.4485434
Like, sometimes when you're having...

937
00:53:09,78.4485434 --> 00:53:16,149.4485434
That's- And that's why it's important- Yeah that you do have a trusted facilitator or a person that you work with, um, um, whatever that looks like.

938
00:53:16,170.4485434 --> 00:53:31,189.4485434
Because even if it is, um, sometimes even if it is maybe an audio that you walk through with some, with, you know, a guided facilitation, because trying to do it yourself, you can easily veer or you may not get all the way in.

939
00:53:31,189.4485434 --> 00:53:31,412.4485434
Yeah.

940
00:53:31,412.4485434 --> 00:53:33,29.4485434
Right? Like, you really...

941
00:53:33,456.4485434 --> 00:53:40,345.4485434
You know, you were able to guide and walk real close with her, and I saw that, and that's why she was able to track so well.

942
00:53:40,347.4485434 --> 00:53:40,363.4485434
Yeah.

943
00:53:40,582.4485434 --> 00:53:44,517.4485434
And that's what jumped in my head, and I was like, "This is exactly why we coaches need coaches."

944
00:53:44,603.4485434 --> 00:53:44,790.4485434
Yes.

945
00:53:44,813.4485434 --> 00:53:48,39.4485434
This is why, you know- Or when anybody needs a therapist.

946
00:53:48,202.4485434 --> 00:53:48,643.4485434
Right.

947
00:53:48,647.4485434 --> 00:53:48,895.4485434
Right? Right.

948
00:53:49,350.4485434 --> 00:53:49,723.4485434
And- Right.

949
00:53:49,723.4485434 --> 00:53:55,79.4485434
However you wanna put it whatever it is, right? Whatever it is, sometimes we just need other people Yeah.

950
00:53:55,128.4485434 --> 00:53:58,114.4485434
So we- To walk with us, right? We aren't supposed to do this alone.

951
00:53:58,124.4485434 --> 00:53:58,773.4485434
No.

952
00:53:58,909.4485434 --> 00:54:04,762.4485434
I mean, this is the, the connection of it all, right? This is why we have guiding hands and light.

953
00:54:04,993.4485434 --> 00:54:13,159.4485434
Um- And I think it's important to raise our hand and ask for help when we need it, seek that out where we need it.

954
00:54:13,210.4485434 --> 00:54:13,394.4485434
I...

955
00:54:13,394.4485434 --> 00:54:29,366.4485434
You know, whether it's just have a little bit of a slush fund put aside for that time where you need to e- schedule an appointment and get some facilitation, because these are the things that really do come up in real life- Yeah that we weren't meant to always traverse by ourself.

956
00:54:29,367.4485434 --> 00:54:30,457.4485434
This is a journey.

957
00:54:30,698.4485434 --> 00:54:31,954.4485434
We don't get- Yeah this isn't a...

958
00:54:32,177.4485434 --> 00:54:38,991.4485434
You don't just get there one day, right? Like, allow yourself to enjoy the journey too, and ask for help along the way.

959
00:54:39,135.4485434 --> 00:54:39,397.4485434
Yeah.

960
00:54:39,480.4485434 --> 00:54:48,472.4485434
Yeah, there's something really powerful that happens when someone's holding space for you- Yes and, and seeing you and witnessing you in it.

961
00:54:48,540.4485434 --> 00:54:48,552.4485434
Mm-hmm.

962
00:54:48,552.4485434 --> 00:54:49,100.4485434
Yes.

963
00:54:49,428.4485434 --> 00:55:01,907.4485434
And holding that loving presence that maybe you don't, can't have for yourself in that moment, or are resistant to having for yourself, and just- Mm-hmm holding it and a, like inviting you into it.

964
00:55:01,998.4485434 --> 00:55:07,36.4485434
It becomes really, really powerful, really transformational to receive the work.

965
00:55:07,100.4485434 --> 00:55:07,784.4485434
And- Yeah.

966
00:55:07,784.4485434 --> 00:55:10,315.4485434
And let me say this also too for my friends that have...

967
00:55:10,327.4485434 --> 00:55:11,341.4485434
Like my, my chicas.

968
00:55:11,652.4485434 --> 00:55:16,274.4485434
Like yes, we have lots of sisters and friends and amigas that we wanna go tell all our stuff to.

969
00:55:16,275.4485434 --> 00:55:16,441.4485434
It...

970
00:55:16,451.4485434 --> 00:55:18,383.4485434
Sometimes it's not that person either, though.

971
00:55:18,420.4485434 --> 00:55:19,195.4485434
Like- Yeah.

972
00:55:19,388.4485434 --> 00:55:19,982.4485434
It's got...

973
00:55:20,14.4485434 --> 00:55:29,953.4485434
You know? Sometimes reach out to the person that is really gonna help you facilitate, because you tell, go tell your amiga something and she's like, Oh," and makes it worse and la, la, la, and all the judgment.

974
00:55:29,954.4485434 --> 00:55:30,682.4485434
And you're like, "Oh."

975
00:55:31,50.4485434 --> 00:55:38,861.4485434
Worse off than, I've tried that before too How that helps arrive is a beautiful gift, right? Yes.

976
00:55:38,867.4485434 --> 00:55:39,351.4485434
Yes.

977
00:55:39,389.4485434 --> 00:55:40,304.4485434
I mean, 'cause I...

978
00:55:40,838.4485434 --> 00:55:54,219.4485434
It was funny because- Yes when, when I was doing research about you, I was like, "I, I bet it, it was, it's really cool working with her," because you do go through, through the body even if it's- One of your favorites energetic or through distance.

979
00:55:54,542.4485434 --> 00:56:01,471.4485434
I do want to now- Yes since we've talked about it, share your offer- Yeah and how people can work with you.

980
00:56:01,846.4485434 --> 00:56:02,870.4485434
Yeah, please.

981
00:56:02,930.4485434 --> 00:56:04,153.4485434
I mean, people can work with me.

982
00:56:04,154.4485434 --> 00:56:18,274.4485434
I do actually the spinal energetics online, which is a little bit more like distant Reiki with music and sound and light language or somatic frequency channeling, uh, because our body responds to, uh, frequency.

983
00:56:18,274.4485434 --> 00:56:19,379.4485434
It responds to sound.

984
00:56:19,381.4485434 --> 00:56:21,22.4485434
It responds to vibration.

985
00:56:21,22.4485434 --> 00:56:21,220.4485434
Yes.

986
00:56:21,220.4485434 --> 00:56:24,551.4485434
Right? Like, everything- Mm-hmm we're taking in right now is just frequency.

987
00:56:24,551.4485434 --> 00:56:31,991.4485434
It's just vibration, whether it's light frequency, sound frequency, um, you know, air frequency, touch on our skin.

988
00:56:32,422.4485434 --> 00:56:34,402.4485434
It's just vibration.

989
00:56:34,419.4485434 --> 00:56:40,755.4485434
And so our body really holds the key through sensation and vibration.

990
00:56:40,760.4485434 --> 00:56:47,658.4485434
And so- Mm-hmm in order to help unlock some of the stuff that we're holding, we don't need to necessarily have the story.

991
00:56:47,658.4485434 --> 00:57:04,104.4485434
I mean, here we did more somatic coaching, so you can kind of tune in more linguistically through memory, you know, letting the mind sort of send up the messages of the memories- Mm-hmm of the emotions, of the words, right? But you don't need to have that.

992
00:57:04,105.4485434 --> 00:57:10,612.4485434
You can also just feel it in your body and let your body respond to vibration and sound.

993
00:57:11,1.4485434 --> 00:57:12,928.4485434
And so that's the spinal energetics.

994
00:57:12,943.4485434 --> 00:57:45,629.4485434
And then I also offer, uh, you know, coaching containers, usually three months of working with someone on something they wanna work with, where we do a bit of a combination of both, uh, both sort of elemental embodiment work, uh, spinal energetics, and then also some somatic coaching as well to help you, yeah, release whatever those stored patterns, impressions, you know, misperceptions, ideas, beliefs are that you're wanting to let go of, or maybe you don't even know that you have.

995
00:57:46,224.4485434 --> 00:57:46,603.4485434
You know? Yeah.

996
00:57:46,625.4485434 --> 00:57:50,943.4485434
Sometimes we open the box, and there they are, and it's like, "Okay.

997
00:57:50,944.4485434 --> 00:57:55,615.4485434
Well, let's, let's work with this and see, see what happens, see how you wanna release it."

998
00:57:55,615.4485434 --> 00:57:55,791.4485434
Yeah.

999
00:57:55,840.4485434 --> 00:58:03,992.4485434
So people are welcome to, if they wanna start with a spinal energetic session, they can book, um, right on my calendar from the website.

1000
00:58:04,3.4485434 --> 00:58:04,21.4485434
Mm-hmm.

1001
00:58:04,27.4485434 --> 00:58:10,825.4485434
There's a code, I think, with, uh, 20% off or something that I offered for all the listeners here.

1002
00:58:10,834.4485434 --> 00:58:16,214.4485434
So- Yes you're, yeah, welcome to come in and give it a try and see what it's like.

1003
00:58:16,594.4485434 --> 00:58:31,331.4485434
And if you want to do more one-on-one coaching with me, then, yeah, just reach out to me on Instagram, @harmonyslaterofficial, or you can, on the same website, uh, just go to my website and, uh, fill out an application and request a session.

1004
00:58:32,652.4485434 --> 00:58:34,210.4485434
You're in Canada.

1005
00:58:34,604.4485434 --> 00:58:34,784.4485434
I am.

1006
00:58:34,784.4485434 --> 00:58:40,63.4485434
Is, are you on the Vancouver side of Calgary? I'm kind of on the Vancouver side, yes.

1007
00:58:40,63.4485434 --> 00:58:41,370.4485434
I'm above- Okay Montana.

1008
00:58:41,782.4485434 --> 00:58:43,130.4485434
I'm in Calgary- Okay Alberta.

1009
00:58:43,658.4485434 --> 00:58:44,144.4485434
Okay.

1010
00:58:44,302.4485434 --> 00:58:48,323.4485434
How far is that from Victoria? Uh, that I used to live in Victoria.

1011
00:58:48,324.4485434 --> 00:58:50,467.4485434
That's where my yoga- Oh, yeah? studio was, yes.

1012
00:58:50,520.4485434 --> 00:58:51,587.4485434
Oh, it's close.

1013
00:58:51,653.4485434 --> 00:58:54,206.4485434
Um, it's about- Hmm 15-hour drive.

1014
00:58:54,485.4485434 --> 00:58:54,988.4485434
Oh, it is that far.

1015
00:58:55,372.4485434 --> 00:58:55,382.4485434
Okay.

1016
00:58:55,382.4485434 --> 00:58:55,823.4485434
Okay.

1017
00:58:55,914.4485434 --> 00:58:56,163.4485434
Okay.

1018
00:58:57,123.4485434 --> 00:58:58,278.4485434
'Cause I'm going to- And a ferry.

1019
00:58:58,318.4485434 --> 00:58:59,0.4485434
And a boat ride.

1020
00:58:59,0.4485434 --> 00:58:59,187.4485434
I was...

1021
00:58:59,931.4485434 --> 00:59:00,343.4485434
Right.

1022
00:59:00,409.4485434 --> 00:59:00,957.4485434
Okay.

1023
00:59:01,53.4485434 --> 00:59:02,623.4485434
Well, so much for that.

1024
00:59:02,646.4485434 --> 00:59:04,68.4485434
I was like, oh, I'm gonna- It's so beautiful, though.

1025
00:59:04,70.4485434 --> 00:59:05,852.4485434
Are you going there? It is very beautiful.

1026
00:59:05,898.4485434 --> 00:59:06,225.4485434
Yeah.

1027
00:59:06,225.4485434 --> 00:59:06,235.4485434
Yeah.

1028
00:59:06,235.4485434 --> 00:59:07,642.4485434
I'm going to Whistler.

1029
00:59:07,831.4485434 --> 00:59:08,198.4485434
Oh, nice.

1030
00:59:08,198.4485434 --> 00:59:10,978.4485434
Uh, just s- I'm speaking at an event in Whistler.

1031
00:59:10,978.4485434 --> 00:59:11,754.4485434
Amazing.

1032
00:59:11,879.4485434 --> 00:59:12,216.4485434
Yeah.

1033
00:59:12,244.4485434 --> 00:59:12,423.4485434
Ooh.

1034
00:59:12,423.4485434 --> 00:59:15,536.4485434
And then I have a Seattle trip earlier in the, in the month, so.

1035
00:59:15,548.4485434 --> 00:59:15,835.4485434
Yeah.

1036
00:59:15,933.4485434 --> 00:59:16,376.4485434
Wow.

1037
00:59:16,391.4485434 --> 00:59:16,401.4485434
Yeah.

1038
00:59:16,405.4485434 --> 00:59:17,342.4485434
You will love it.

1039
00:59:17,460.4485434 --> 00:59:18,961.4485434
Um- Whistler's so beautiful.

1040
00:59:20,40.4485434 --> 00:59:32,322.4485434
You guys, if you're looking for this offer, if you're on the chat, you can find the link at the top, but you can also find it at hautehustle.com/live,

1041
00:59:32,376.4485434 --> 00:59:39,48.4485434
and there is a coupon code to get 10% off one of Harmony's sessions, so.

1042
00:59:39,93.4485434 --> 00:59:42,232.4485434
And Morningmystic22 is the code.

1043
00:59:42,302.4485434 --> 00:59:45,288.4485434
So morningmystic22 to get the percentage off.

1044
00:59:45,535.4485434 --> 00:59:54,145.4485434
And the link is Haute, H-A-U-T-E, hustle.com/live.

1045
00:59:54,145.4485434 --> 00:59:59,992.4485434
Um- And you'll see her lovely little face there and picture, and then, um, the button.

1046
00:59:59,992.4485434 --> 01:00:00,2.4485434
Mm-hmm.

1047
01:00:00,46.4485434 --> 01:00:01,813.4485434
And don't forget to use your code.

1048
01:00:01,876.4485434 --> 01:00:02,229.4485434
Yeah.

1049
01:00:02,278.4485434 --> 01:00:06,528.4485434
Talking about nervous system, we've got something coming up for that, too.

1050
01:00:07,231.4485434 --> 01:00:11,323.4485434
I think we're gonna probably be showing this show around that time, too.

1051
01:00:12,43.4485434 --> 01:00:12,211.4485434
Mm-hmm.

1052
01:00:12,231.4485434 --> 01:00:14,691.4485434
'Cause I think this is just a good example.

1053
01:00:15,186.4485434 --> 01:00:16,556.4485434
Sometimes people think...

1054
01:00:16,581.4485434 --> 01:00:23,337.4485434
I mean, we'll have a session where somebody will do attunement on, you know, worth or whatever it was.

1055
01:00:23,528.4485434 --> 01:00:23,802.4485434
Mm-hmm.

1056
01:00:24,210.4485434 --> 01:00:26,972.4485434
And I think sometimes people think, "Okay.

1057
01:00:26,972.4485434 --> 01:00:29,258.4485434
Well, then you do it, and then it's gone."

1058
01:00:29,833.4485434 --> 01:00:38,333.4485434
And I like to think, well, that, yes, that happens in that moment, and I had an awakening, an awareness around that.

1059
01:00:38,394.4485434 --> 01:00:47,26.4485434
And then you can't make that wrong when you go into something else where you feel that way again.

1060
01:00:47,543.4485434 --> 01:01:01,881.4485434
I feel like it just takes time for us to have less, less, less, less of whatever it is that we don't desire until finally it just disappears from our regular life, our existence.

1061
01:01:01,881.4485434 --> 01:01:06,991.4485434
What are your thoughts around that? Yeah, I mean, you know, life is gonna keep life-ing, so Yeah.

1062
01:01:07,2.4485434 --> 01:01:07,508.4485434
Yeah.

1063
01:01:07,510.4485434 --> 01:01:08,92.4485434
And that's okay.

1064
01:01:08,92.4485434 --> 01:01:08,697.4485434
We're gonna- Yeah.

1065
01:01:08,697.4485434 --> 01:01:18,797.4485434
Yeah, we're gonna keep getting all kinds of things going on that, you know, maybe we wouldn't have planned or wouldn't have been the way that we would have expected it to happen.

1066
01:01:18,911.4485434 --> 01:01:19,2.4485434
Mm-hmm.

1067
01:01:19,2.4485434 --> 01:01:40,919.4485434
But I think as we become more attuned to ourselves- Yes and to our bodies, to our feelings, to our emotions, to our thoughts, to our mind, and we cultivate more and more awareness and connection with ourselves, we start to resist reality less, or notice when we're resisting it, and start to allow it and accept it more.

1068
01:01:40,919.4485434 --> 01:01:47,636.4485434
And it brings us back into the present moment, and that's where the place of power is where we can really choose how to be with something.

1069
01:01:48,343.4485434 --> 01:01:48,807.4485434
Yeah.

1070
01:01:48,807.4485434 --> 01:01:48,817.4485434
Yeah.

1071
01:01:48,875.4485434 --> 01:01:55,748.4485434
It's not so much about, you know, having a perfect life with no obstacles or problems, 'cause that's not ever gonna happen, sorry.

1072
01:01:56,661.4485434 --> 01:01:56,958.4485434
Right.

1073
01:01:56,968.4485434 --> 01:02:01,235.4485434
But you just get a lot better at, at being with it.

1074
01:02:01,263.4485434 --> 01:02:04,605.4485434
And then instead- Mm-hmm of it being like, "Oh, this is such a big problem.

1075
01:02:04,633.4485434 --> 01:02:09,689.4485434
I wish this wasn't happening," you start to get curious and like, "Oh, this is happening.

1076
01:02:09,885.4485434 --> 01:02:11,898.4485434
I wonder what I'm gonna learn from this."

1077
01:02:11,898.4485434 --> 01:02:11,908.4485434
Yes.

1078
01:02:11,923.4485434 --> 01:02:14,236.4485434
"Or I wonder what's gonna happen on the other side."

1079
01:02:14,251.4485434 --> 01:02:24,242.4485434
And so you just get a little bit more resilient, I would say, and also accepting and allowing of reality as it is and being with it.

1080
01:02:24,248.4485434 --> 01:02:24,262.4485434
Mm.

1081
01:02:24,270.4485434 --> 01:02:33,264.4485434
But then also noticing like, "Well, okay, this is what, how it is, and what part do I wanna play? How do I wanna be with this? What do I wanna change?" Yes.

1082
01:02:33,264.4485434 --> 01:02:36,200.4485434
"What can I actually do? What's within my power to do?" Yeah.

1083
01:02:36,415.4485434 --> 01:02:42,834.4485434
So I think you just get quicker and at noticing, at noticing- Yes what's going on.

1084
01:02:42,843.4485434 --> 01:02:48,321.4485434
Rather than living out of those patterns of reaction, you start to see- Mm-hmm "Oh, this is a pattern.

1085
01:02:48,322.4485434 --> 01:02:49,283.4485434
I'm feeling this way.

1086
01:02:49,284.4485434 --> 01:02:51,642.4485434
Okay, let me just feel this way and be with it.

1087
01:02:51,856.4485434 --> 01:02:54,104.4485434
Let me feel it in my body all the way through."

1088
01:02:54,199.4485434 --> 01:02:55,977.4485434
Maybe you notice where it came from.

1089
01:02:55,977.4485434 --> 01:02:57,741.4485434
Maybe you notice how old it is.

1090
01:02:57,836.4485434 --> 01:03:24,493.4485434
And then you, you just love up on yourself and you give it that love and that acceptance and that permission and that allowance without trying to make it wrong or make yourself wrong or make it different or make it go away, but just really- Yeah being with it, and then noticing like, "Okay, now what?" Well, now I know next time that I will often go direct, direct to wrongness when I feel, quote, "off."

1091
01:03:24,516.4485434 --> 01:03:31,207.4485434
Like, if things aren't happy and butterflies and I feel, quote, "off," I like to make it wrong.

1092
01:03:31,517.4485434 --> 01:03:59,792.7818767
I think that's my big takeaway from this show is, you know, if, if there's no land of right, wrong, good, bad, why am I, like, making it so wrong when I have, you know, something that inside doesn't feel yummy, delicious, happy, floaty, you know, happy-go-lucky Jenneth, right? And I didn't r- really realize that I did that so dynamically in such a mean way to myself even.

1093
01:04:00,225.7818767 --> 01:04:01,433.7818767
So I think that's...

1094
01:04:01,866.7818767 --> 01:04:09,496.7818767
This is one of my favorite shows- I agree because I, you know, that I hope everyone else gets that.

1095
01:04:09,559.7818767 --> 01:04:10,47.7818767
Yeah.

1096
01:04:10,206.7818767 --> 01:04:10,602.7818767
Yeah.

1097
01:04:10,802.7818767 --> 01:04:13,672.7818767
Katie says, "Thanks so much,- That was phenomenal ladies, for a great show.

1098
01:04:13,704.7818767 --> 01:04:15,145.7818767
Everyone have a great day."

1099
01:04:15,598.7928658 --> 01:04:19,589.7928658
I think that was very phenomenal for sure, and it changed us for sure.

1100
01:04:19,753.7928658 --> 01:04:21,216.7928658
Yeah, it absolutely did.

1101
01:04:21,216.7928658 --> 01:04:22,289.7928658
I'm very grateful.

1102
01:04:22,526.7928658 --> 01:04:22,807.7928658
Yeah.

1103
01:04:22,828.7928658 --> 01:04:29,247.7928658
Again, if you're looking for the link, you can find it at howhustle.com/live,

1104
01:04:29,311.7928658 --> 01:04:43,402.7928658
L-I-V-E, and you can just look for a link there that says special offer by this recording, and then look for that coupon code that's morningmystic22.

1105
01:04:44,309.7928658 --> 01:04:47,646.7928658
Quick, do you have any parting words for us today? Hmm.

1106
01:04:47,749.7928658 --> 01:04:53,920.7928658
It's just been such a pleasure to be here with you guys and- What I'd love to leave everyone with is just, like, love is the medicine.

1107
01:04:54,559.7928658 --> 01:04:54,883.7928658
Yeah.

1108
01:04:54,931.7928658 --> 01:04:57,581.7928658
And so- Yes, ma'am and you are the medicine, too.

1109
01:04:57,581.7928658 --> 01:04:59,526.7928658
So just love yourselves more.

1110
01:04:59,526.7928658 --> 01:04:59,536.7928658
Yay.

1111
01:04:59,661.7928658 --> 01:05:00,292.7928658
Love life.

1112
01:05:00,292.7928658 --> 01:05:00,549.7928658
Thank you.

1113
01:05:00,606.7928658 --> 01:05:02,31.7928658
Harmony, you're amazing.

1114
01:05:02,761.7928658 --> 01:05:03,410.7928658
Amazing.

1115
01:05:03,410.7928658 --> 01:05:03,430.7928658
Absolutely amazing.

1116
01:05:03,430.7928658 --> 01:05:03,450.7928658
Thank you.

1117
01:05:03,736.7928658 --> 01:05:04,210.7928658
You're welcome.

1118
01:05:04,210.7928658 --> 01:05:04,617.7928658
Very grateful.

1119
01:05:04,644.7928658 --> 01:05:05,634.7928658
Thanks for having me.

1120
01:05:05,635.7928658 --> 01:05:08,319.7928658
It's been a beautiful experience with you both.

1121
01:05:08,889.7928658 --> 01:05:13,532.7928658
We are Howl Hustle reminding you To take a little time to- To enjoy the woo.

1122
01:05:13,792.7928658 --> 01:05:14,478.7928658
Have a great one.

1123
01:05:14,478.7928658 --> 01:05:17,199.9244144
Bye That's it.

1124
01:05:17,449.9244144 --> 01:05:21,39.9244144
We've concluded another episode of the Finding Harmony podcast.

1125
01:05:21,559.9244144 --> 01:05:28,99.9244144
I just wanna thank you so much for doing the work that changes the world, starting with yourself.

1126
01:05:28,419.9244144 --> 01:05:31,799.9234144
It truly does make a huge difference.

1127
01:05:32,649.9234144 --> 01:05:39,639.9244144
Please make sure you have your automatic downloads turned on wherever you listen so you don't miss any of the upcoming episodes.

1128
01:05:40,109.9244144 --> 01:05:43,549.9234144
I have so much more magic I can't wait to share with you.

1129
01:05:44,319.9234144 --> 01:05:59,549.9224144
Lastly, if you're on Instagram, I love connecting and hearing from you, so come on over and say hello @findingharmonypodcast, and you can also come say hello to me personally @harmonyslaterofficial.

1130
01:05:59,939.9244144 --> 01:06:01,809.9244144
Thank you again for being here.

1131
01:06:02,19.9224144 --> 01:06:06,139.9224144
I cannot wait to share more with you in our next episode